
Quests
I will modify this section soon, but I wanted to display something in
this section, until I have time to finish it off fully. Below is the quests that
I took directly from another website. Promise, I will modify it in about a week.
Council Of Loathing Quests:
Toot Oriole:
The first Kingdom of Loathing quest is essentially a tutorial. The Toot Oriole
(found in Mt Noob) will probably tell you return when you get stronger. So level
up and return. You will now be told to get 30 meat. Adventure until you have
collected 30 meat and return. You are now told to buy Chewing Gum On A String
from the market in the Seaside Town.
When you get back to the Mt. you will again be instructed to get stronger. Once
you level up again, your next task is to combine an Action Figure Body and Head
together. Make some meat paste from the miscellaneous category of your
inventory, click on "combine stuff", select the Action Figure Body and Head in
the drop down menu's and click Combine. Now take the newly created Action Figure
to the Toot Oriole to receive an Oriole Feather Headdress (15 power).
Visit the Toot Oriole again and she will give you a worthless item. Buy a Hermit
Permit from the Market, go to The Hermitage, trade the worthless item for the
Golden Twig and return to Mt. Noob. The Toot Oriole will now tell you to go to
the Council Of Loathing and will also give you a KoL Certificate Of
Participation, which you can hang in your campsite.
Typical Tavern:
The first Council Of Loathing Quest. Adventure at the Typical Tavern in The
Distant Woods and fight rats there until you have obtained 10 Rat Whiskers.
After you get the 10th whisker, you will receive a Shiny Ring (+3 all stats) and
an Ice Cold Six Pack.
Dark And Dank Sinister Cave:
Enter the Dark And Dank Sinister Cave. Equip a Gnollish Flyswatter (from
Degrassi Knoll), to solve the Fly Bend. Have a Cog and a Sprocket in your
inventory to open the next door. The Lavatory Troll needs Fairy Gravy, which can
be found in the Haiku Dungeon. Equip Knob Goblin Tongs to get through the salad
door. The next obstacle needs Ketchup or Catsup so get a worthless item from the
sewer (using Chewing Gum on a string) and trade it at the The Hermitage for the
Ketchup or Catsup. The final room is combat with your nemesis. Defeating him
completes the quest and gives you a hat (its properties are determined by your
class).
Boss Bat:
Fight in The Bat Hole until you get a Pine Fresh Air Freshner. Equip it and
fight in Guano Junction (any item that gives stench resistance allows you to
enter the Guano Junction, eg: the asshat). Adventure in Guano Junction until you
have three sonar-in-a-biscuits. Every sonar-in-a-biscuit you use will unlock a
new area in the Bat Hole, the last one unlocked will be the Boss Bat's Lair.
Enter and kill the Boss Bat to get an item, then take that item to the Council
Of Loathing to get a Batskin Belt and quest completion.
Bitchin' Meat Car:
You must first gather a cog, an Empty Meat Tank, some Tires, a spring and a
sprocket. Some of these are found inside Gnollish Toolboxes, which are found in
Degrassi Knoll. You need the Sweet Rims, which you get from the Hermit by
trading him a Worthless item. You will also need five Meat Pastes and a Meat
Stack (must have 100 meat to make this), which can be made inside your
inventory. Combine the Meat Stack with the Empty Meat Tank to get a Full Meat
Tank, and combine the Tires with the Sweet Rims to get the Dope Wheels. Combine
a spring and a sprocket, then combine the result with a cog to make Cog And
Sprocket Assembly. Now combine the Full Meat Tank with the Cog And Sprocket
Assembly to produce a Meat Engine, which you can then combine with the Dope
Wheels to get a Bitchin' Meatcar. Return to the Council to complete the quest
and to gain the ability to adventure at the Shore.
Deep Fat Friars:
Another Council Of Loathing quest, head to the Grove Of The Deep Fat Friars in
the Distant Woods and speak to them to learn their problem. Head to the Dark
Neck Of The Woods and adventure until you get the dodecagram, do the same in The
Dark Heart Of The Woods for the Birthday Candles, and in The Dark Elbow Of The
Woods to get the Eldrich Butterknife. Head to the taint with all three items to
complete the quest and get the Liver Of Steel skill, which allows you to get up
to 20 drunkness.
Orc Chasm:
Accessing The Valley Beyond The Orc Chasm takes some running around. You first
need to make a Dingy Dinghy (Get the Dingy Planks from the Hermit and the Dinghy
Plans from the Shore, then use the plans). The Dinghy will open up the
Mysterious Island Of Mystery. Adventure in the Obligatory Pirate's Cove to
obtain the Swashbuckling Getup (swashbuckling pants, stuffed shoulder parrot and
eyepatch). Dress up in the Swashbuckling Getup once you have all the components
and adventure in the Pirates Cove to get the Abridged Dictionary. Go to the
Untinkerer in town and have him untinker the Abridged Dictionary into a Bridge
and a dictionary. You can now cross the Orc Chasm using the bridge. Use the
dictionary against the enemies here, it will deal more damage that a normal
attack and has unlimited uses. Fight until you collect two 334 Scrolls, a 33398
Scroll and a 30669 Scroll. Combine the two 334 Scrolls together to get a 668
Scroll, then combine the 30669 and 33398 Scrolls to get a 64067 Scroll. Combine
the 64067 scroll with the 668 scroll to finally make the 64735 scroll. Use the
64735 scroll to complete the quest. You will get some meat and a Drywall Axe,
but the Baron Rof L'm Fao keeps your dictionary.
The Cyrpt:
The next quest set by the Council Of Loathing is quite a simple one, head to the
Crypt in the Nearby Plains. Adventure in the Defiled Areas until the areas
become undefiled and disappear (it will take several adventures). Once all four
areas are gone, adventure into the Haert Of The Crypt and kill the boss to get
two items, now go to the council to get a Dragonbone Belt Buckle. Combine this
with the Batskin Belt to get the Badass Belt Accessory (+5 all major stats), use
the Chest of the Bonerdagon to get a 150 Boost to each stat and some meat.
Strange Leaflet:
The strange leaflet is given to you by the Council Of Loathing. Use the leaflet
and type in the following
instructions in order: plugh, Open Door, East, Take Sword, West, North,
Cut Hedge, Pick Up Stick, West, Light Stick, East, North, Kill Serpent, Open
Chest, Look Behind Chest, Look In Hole. You should now possess a House
(campground item, the best dwelling) and a Grue Egg (a familiar).
Naughty Sorceress:
When you reach level 10, the Council of Loathing will open up the final area:
The Lair of the Naughty Sorceress. To get past the first gate you must use a
Tasty Fun Good Rice Candy (found in The Valley Beyond The Orc Chasm) to get a
Sugar Rush. For the next gate, you must use a wussiness potion, and for the last
gate, you need a Thin Black Candle (Goth Giants in the Giant Castle drop it).
The next location is The Huge Mirror. To get past the mirror, take all of your
gear off (show your true self), and you will get a huge mirror shard.
To pass the Perplexing Door, you will need: A Boris Key (answer is "fish", you
will receive a Fish Bowl), Jarlsberg Key (answer is "phish", reward is a
fishtank), Sneaky Pete Key (answer is "fsh", you will receive a fish hose),
Skeleton Key (either play until you get eleven by chance, or use a ten-leaf
clover to get a stone tablet (Really Evil Rhythm)), Richard's Star Key (equip a
star buckler and any star weapon, and have a star starfish as your familiar, you
will get a stone tablet (Sinister Strumming) as a reward) and a Digital Key
(enter "up up down down left right left right b a", you will receive a stone
tablet (Squeezings of Woe)). The Boris, Jarlsberg and Sneaky Pete Keys are
typically found at the end of the Daily Dungeon. The Skeleton Key is made by
combining a Skeleton Bone and Loose Teeth. Richard's Star Key is created by
using a Star Chart and entering 8 stars and 7 lines. And the Digital Key is
created at the Crackpot Mysic's shed when you give the mystic 30 white pixels.
You can also get an Easter Egg balloon (+5 all major stats) here by having a
Balloon Monkey (combine four long skinny balloons) in your inventory and using
it in the door.
To pass the Perplexing Odor, you must combine the Fish Hose with a Fish Bowl,
and then combine the Hosed Fisbowl with fishtank to get the Makeshift SCUBA
Gear. Completing the Perplexing Odor will partially activate the Stone
Mariachis.
To pass The Stone Mariachis you need a Heavy Metal Thunderrr Guitarrr (combine
an Accoustic Guitarrr and a Chrome Ore), a stolen accordion, and a bone rattle
(combine a Skeleton Bone and a broken skull) or a tambourine (tambourine bells
and Gnollish Pie Tin). Completing the Stone Mariachis will open up a new area to
adventure in - The Hedge Maze.
In The Hedge Maze, battle until you get a hedge maze puzzle. In the puzzle,
create a path to the key and adventure in the Maze again. You will get a hedge
maze key. Now create a path out of the Maze in the puzzle and reenter the Maze.
The Sorceress' Tower is now open.
The Sorceress' Tower is a series of enemies undefeatable by normal combat, you
must use special items to kill them. They give many stats points when you beat
them, so you should equip a volleyball familiar to get even more stat points. On
the first level of the tower, you will fight a Fickle Finger of F8. Use a
razor-sharp can lid to slice it. On tower level 2 you face a Pretty Fly, kill it
with a spider web (which can be found in The Sleazy Back Alley on the Wrong Side
of the Tracks). On the third tower level you face A Flaming Samurai, ice him
using the Frigid Ninja Stars. The fourth level pits you against An Ice Cube.
Defeat it with a can of hair spray (bought in the Market). On the fifth level
you fight A Beer Batter. Use a baseball on it. On Tower Level 6, you fight An
Enraged Cow. Use a Barbed-Wire Fence (can be found at the shore, in the Large
Donkey Mountain Ski Resort) to contain it.
The Sorceress' Chamber is now open.
Unfortunately, the rest of the quest has not yet been completed. More when the
developers finish it.
Other Quests:
King of Cobb's Knob:
You will need the Knob Goblin Perfume, Knob Goblin Harem Veil and Knob Goblin
Harem Pants from Inside Cobb's Knob. Equip the Veil and Pants, and then use the
perfume. This will turn you into a Knob Goblin Harem Girl for one turn. Enter
the King's Chamber and defeat him to get the Crown of the Goblin King (70 power,
+10 Muscle) and two dense meat stacks. Quest complete. Not related to this quest
but related to this location is the fact that you can equip the Knob Goblim
Elite Guard Uniform when visiting the Cobb's Knob Laboratory to get a list of
items to buy.
Dr Hobos Map:
Dr. Hobo's Map is found in the Outskirts Of Cobb's Knob. You need an Asparagus
Knife (from the Haunted Pantry), and must have a Cool Whip (bought from the
Market) equipped. Use the map to complete the quest and get Dr. Hobo's scalpel.
The Dolphin Kings Map:
This map is found in the Haunted Pantry. Equip a Snorkel bought from the Market
and use the Dolphin King's Map to complete the quest and receive a Crown Of The
Dolphin King as a reward.
The Slug Lords Map:
This map is found in the Sleazy Back Alley on The Wrong Side of the Tracks.
Equip any item that provides Stench Resistance (the Pine Fresh Air Freshner from
the Entryway of the Bat Hole is one) and then use the map to complete the quest,
you will get Pants Of The Slug Lord as a reward.
Hidden Temple:
Adventuring in the Spooky Forest will eventually yield a Spooky Temple Map, a
Spooky Sapling and some Spooky Gro-Fertiliser. Use the Spooky Temple Map with
all three items in your inventory to open the Hidden Temple.
Pretentious Painters Paint and Brush:
The painter is on The Wrong Side Of The Tracks in The Dirt-Walled Hovel of The
Pretentious Artist. He wants you to find his Pretentious Paint (located in the
Haunted Pantry) and Pretentious Paintbrush (found in Outskirts Of Cobb's Knob).
Depending on your luck, this can be a somewhat frustrating quest as these items
can take hundreds of turns to find. Once you have the items, take them back to
the painter to unlock the ability to get tattoos. You will also get a starter
tattoo. See the tattoo section on how to get the rest of the tattoos.
Untinker's Screwdriver:
The untinkerer is located on the Right Side Of The Tracks. You must find his
Rusty Screwdriver (in the Degrassi Knoll). Upon completion of the quest, the
untinkerer will disassemble items for you.
The Gourd Tower:
Found in The Right Side of the Tracks, The Captain of the Gourd wants 5
firecrackers (found in The Outskirts of Cobb's Knob) if you are a Seal
Clubber/Turtle Tamer. If you are a Pastamancer/Sauceror, he will want 6
Razor-Sharp Can Lids (from the Haunted Pantry). And if you are a Disco Bandit/Accordian
Thief, he will want Spider Webs (from The Sleazy Back Alley). When you
bring the 5 items back, you will receive a gourd potion (which increases your
primary substat by around 35). This quest can be repeated.
Beanstalk:
Use an Enchanted Bean (found in Beanbat Chamber of the Bat Hole) to plant a
Beanstalk and complete the quest. This needs to be done before you can access
The Penultimate Fantasy Airship, The Castle in the Clouds in the Sky, or The
Hole in the Sky. Your primary stat must be at least 100 for you to adventure at
The Penultimate Fantasy Airship.
The Airship:
When you have planted a Beanstalk and reached 100 in your primary stat, you can
adventure in the The Penultimate Fantasy Airship. Fight here until you collect
the five Immaterias and get a S.O.C.K and a Giant Castle Map. The Castle in the
Clouds in the Sky is now open for adventuring.
Giant Castle Map:
Collect a Furry Fur, a Giant Needle and an Awful Poetry Journal from The Castle
in the Clouds in the Sky. Use the Giant Caslte Map to complete the quest and get
the Quantum Egg. Combine the Egg with the S.O.C.K to get the Intergalactic
Rowboat, which opens the The Hole In The Sky for adventuring.
31337 Scroll and the UB3r 31337 HaX0R:
Combine two 334 scrolls (from the Orc Chasm) to get a 668 Scroll. Combine the
newly made 668 Scroll with a 30669 Scroll (also from the Orc Chasm) to make a
31337 Scroll. Use the 31337 Scroll to summon the UB3r 31337 HaX0R who gives you
a stat script (which increases each substat by ~150) and a Hermit Script (which
eliminates the need for Hermit Permits). Quest Complete. If you try to make and
use another 31337 scroll, you will only get 3-5 worthless
gewgaws/trinkets/knickknacks.
Feng Shui:
Adventure on The Mysterious Island of Mystery until you have the Feng Shui For
Big Dumb Idiots, the Decorative Fountain and the Windchimes. Then just use the
Feng Shui For Big Dumb Idiots to complete the quest. Really Good Feng Shui
increases the amount of hitpoints you recover when you rest in your campground.
It also weakens the Mysticality of attackers in PvP.
The Palindome:
Combine two snakehead charrrms to form a Talisman O'Nam. You must have the
Talisman equipped to access the Palindome, which is located in The Nearby
Plains.
Pagoda:
Collect a Drab Sonata, Ketchup Hound, Guitar Pick and Elf Farm Raffle Ticket by
adventuring in The Palindome. Get an Accoustic Guitar from the Obligatory
Pirate's Cove, a Hey Deze Map from the Friar's Gate, and two Chrome Ores from
the Mine. You will also need a Ten-Leaf Clover from the Hermit. Use the Elf Farm
Raffle Ticket to get the Pagoda Plans (this will use up the ten-leaf clover).
Combine a Chrome Ore with the Accoustic Guitar to get a Heavy Metal Thunderrr
Guitarrr, then combine the other Chrome Ore with the Drab Sonata to make a Heavy
Metal Sonata. Now use the Hey Deze Map to get Hey Deze Nuts. Finally, use the
Ketchup Hound. You now have a Pagoda in your campground.
The Daily Dungeon:
The Daily Dungeon is found in the Dungeon Full of Dungeons in town. It is
randomized every day, but is always 10 rooms long and always has a boris/jarlsberg/sneaky
pete related item as a reward in the 10th room. You will often fight
normal monsters, but other obstacles exist. Locked Doors may be opened one of
three ways: Lockpick it with the Pick-O-Matic lockpicks, use a key (consumes a
key, but does not cost a turn), or bash it down (can damage you). Other
obstacles with test your stats, if the appropriate stat is high enough, you pass
the room. The last kind of obstacle is the rooms that tests resistance to
environmental effects. Examples of this room are the Hot Floor, Giant Creepy
Floating Skull, Sewage Moat or open refrigerator. Equip items that provide
resistance to these effects, or get an Elemental Saucesphere cast on yourself to
pass these rooms.
Fernswarthy's Basement:
Fernswarthy's Basement is found in the Dungeon Full of Dungeons in town. It is
an endless dungeon that allows you to pick a stat to boost every 5 rooms. Every
level checks your stats to see if you have enough muscle/moxie/mysticality to
advance to the next level. You can advance farther that you normally could by
using food/equipment that temporarily boosts stats. Items like the potion
of temporary gr8ness are excellent for this.