| Name | Type | Sell Value | Power | Notes |
| 'Villa' document | miscellaneous, use item | 125000000 | 0 | |
| 100-Watt bulb | familiar equipment | 75 | 0 | +5 to Familiar Weight |
| 1337 7r0uZ0RZ | pants | 130 | 90 | Intrinsic Effect |
| 30669 scroll | miscellaneous | 55 | 0 | |
| 31337 scroll | miscellaneous, use item | 132 | 0 | |
| 33398 scroll | miscellaneous | 57 | 0 | |
| 334 scroll | miscellaneous | 51 | 0 | |
| 5-Alarm Saucepan | weapon | 150 | 50 | Mysticality +7 |
| 64067 scroll | miscellaneous | 101 | 0 | |
| 64735 scroll | miscellaneous, use item | 165 | 0 | |
| 668 scroll | miscellaneous, use item | 87 | 0 | |
| 7-Foot Dwarven mattock | weapon | 55 | 50 | |
| a little sump'm sump'm | booze | 115 | 0 | |
| abominable snowcone | food | 30 | 0 | |
| abridged dictionary | miscellaneous | 38 | 0 | |
| acid-squirting flower | accessory | 25 | 60 | |
| acoustic guitarrr | miscellaneous, use item | 49 | 0 | |
| Acqua Del Piatto Merlot | booze | 0 | 0 | |
| Acque Luride Grezze Cabernet | booze | 0 | 0 | |
| action figure body | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| action figure head | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| alarming strawberry juice | miscellaneous, use item | 36 | 0 | |
| amulet of extreme plot significance | accessory | 250 | 70 | Maximum MP +30 |
| Ancient Saucehelm | hat | 0 | 50 | Mysticality +7 |
| Angry Farmer candy | miscellaneous, use item | 137 | 0 | |
| anti-anti-antidote | miscellaneous, use item | 20 | 0 | |
| anticheese | miscellaneous | 30 | 0 | |
| arrrgyle socks | accessory | 48 | 70 | Mysticality +6 |
| arse-a'fire elixir | miscellaneous, use item | 36 | 0 | |
| arse-shooting crossbow | weapon | 0 | 160 | All Attributes +15 |
| asbestos crossbow | weapon, crossbow | 180 | 100 | Moxie +9 |
| asbestos crossbow string | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient, crossbow | 95 | 0 | |
| asbestos helmet turtle | hat | 101 | 80 | Heat Resistance |
| asbestos meat stack | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 100 | 0 | |
| asbestos ore | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 50 | 0 | |
| asbestos staff | weapon, staff | 180 | 100 | Mysticality +9 |
| asbestos stick | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 95 | 0 | |
| asbestos sword | weapon, sword | 180 | 100 | Muscle +9 |
| asbestos sword hilt | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 95 | 0 | |
| asparagus knife | weapon | 16 | 15 | +1 Stench Damage |
| asparagus stir-fry | food, cooking ingredient | 67 | 0 | |
| asshat | hat | 45 | 30 | Stench Resistance |
| awful poetry journal | miscellaneous, use item | 136 | 0 | |
| baby killer bee | familiar | 76 | 0 | |
| badass belt | accessory | 0 | 80 | All Attributes +5 |
| balloon helmet | hat | 39 | 60 | |
| balloon monkey | familiar | 67 | 0 | |
| balloon sword | weapon, sword | 51 | 60 | |
| banjo strings | miscellaneous | 100 | 0 | |
| bar skin | miscellaneous | 5 | 0 | |
| barbed-wire fence | miscellaneous, use item, combat use item | 31 | 0 | |
| barrnacle | familiar | 48 | 0 | |
| barskin hat | hat | 6 | 25 | |
| barskin tent | miscellaneous, use item | 9 | 0 | |
| bartender skull | miscellaneous | 81 | 0 | |
| bartender-in-the-box | miscellaneous, use item | 140 | 0 | |
| bartender-skull-in-the-box | miscellaneous | 78 | 0 | |
| baseball | miscellaneous, use item, combat use item | 11 | 0 | |
| basic meat crossbow | weapon, meatsmithing ingredient, crossbow | 140 | 30 | |
| basic meat fez | hat, meatsmithing ingredient | 140 | 40 | |
| basic meat foon | weapon | 140 | 50 | Muscle +2 melee damage +3 |
| basic meat helmet | hat, meatsmithing ingredient | 140 | 30 | |
| basic meat pants | pants, meatsmithing ingredient | 140 | 30 | |
| basic meat spork | weapon | 140 | 40 | |
| basic meat staff | weapon, meatsmithing ingredient, staff | 140 | 30 | |
| basic meat sword | weapon, meatsmithing ingredient, sword | 140 | 30 | |
| bat guano | miscellaneous, use item | 12 | 0 | |
| bat haggis | food | 106 | 0 | |
| bat wing | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 14 | 0 | |
| bat wing chow mein | food | 73 | 0 | |
| bat wing kabob | food | 50 | 0 | |
| bat wing stir-fry | food, cooking ingredient | 69 | 0 | |
| batblade | weapon, sword | 135 | 130 | |
| batgut | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 12 | 0 | |
| batskin belt | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| bean burrito | food, cooking ingredient | 54 | 0 | |
| beanbag chair | miscellaneous, use item | 48 | 0 | |
| beans | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 23 | 0 | |
| beer goggles | accessory | 57 | 0 | |
| beer lens | miscellaneous | 31 | 0 | |
| beertini | booze | 60 | 0 | |
| bejeweled accordion strap | accessory | 1000 | 0 | HP/MP +25 |
| big ol' trophy | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| big red clown nose | accessory | 25 | 50 | |
| big rock | miscellaneous | 1 | 0 | |
| big stick | weapon, meatsmithing ingredient | 50 | 10 | |
| Bigger Bugfinder Blade | weapon | 0 | 200 | All Attributes +9 |
| birthday candle | miscellaneous, use item | 50 | 0 | |
| bitchin' meatcar | miscellaneous | 200 | 0 | |
| Bjorn's Hammer | weapon | 80 | 50 | Muscle +7 |
| black pixel | miscellaneous | 25 | 0 | |
| bling-bling | accessory | 50 | 0 | Moxie +1 |
| blood of the Wereseal | miscellaneous, use item | 250 | 0 | |
| blood-faced volleyball | familiar | 101 | 0 | |
| bloody beer | booze | 60 | 0 | |
| bloody clown pants | pants | 65 | 60 | |
| bloody mary | booze, cocktail ingredient | 65 | 0 | |
| blue pixel | miscellaneous | 25 | 0 | |
| blue pixel potion | miscellaneous, use item, combat use item | 50 | 0 | |
| blundarrrbus | familiar equipment | 75 | 0 | +5 to Familiar Weight |
| bodyslam | booze | 0 | 0 | |
| bone rattle | miscellaneous | 23 | 0 | |
| boring spaghetti | food | 33 | 0 | |
| Boris's key | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 50 | 0 | |
| Boris's key lime | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 98 | 0 | |
| Boris's key lime pie | food | 123 | 0 | |
| Boris's ring | accessory | 50 | 50 | Muscle +10 |
| Boss Bat bandana | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| bottle of gin | booze, cocktail ingredient | 35 | 0 | |
| bottle of rum | booze, cocktail ingredient | 35 | 0 | |
| bottle of tequila | booze, cocktail ingredient | 35 | 0 | |
| bottle of vodka | booze, cocktail ingredient | 35 | 0 | |
| bottle of whiskey | booze, cocktail ingredient | 35 | 0 | |
| bow | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 0 | 0 | |
| bow staff | weapon, staff | 0 | 100 | Mysticality +5 melee damage +3 |
| bowl of cottage cheese | food | 31 | 0 | |
| bowl of lucky charms | food | 35 | 0 | |
| bowlegged pants | pants | 0 | 100 | Moxie +5 |
| bowler | hat | 0 | 100 | Muscle +5 |
| box | accessory | 19 | 0 | carrying capacity +30 |
| box of birthday candles | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| box-in-the-box | accessory | 38 | 0 | carrying capacity +50 |
| box-in-the-box-in-the-box | accessory | 54 | 0 | carrying capacity +70 |
| boxed wine | booze, cocktail ingredient | 35 | 0 | |
| brainy skull | miscellaneous, use item | 32 | 0 | |
| brass stinger | familiar equipment | 75 | 0 | +5 to Familiar Weight |
| bridge | miscellaneous | 16 | 0 | |
| briefcase | miscellaneous, use item | 15 | 0 | |
| Brimstone Chicken Sandwich | food | 31 | 0 | |
| brine | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient, cocktail ingredient | 77 | 0 | |
| briny vinegar | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 160 | 0 | |
| broken cellular phone | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| broken skull | miscellaneous | 15 | 0 | |
| bubbly potion | miscellaneous, use item | 60 | 0 | |
| buckler buckle | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 50 | 0 | |
| bugbear beanie | hat | 25 | 20 | |
| bugbear bungguard | pants | 35 | 30 | |
| bugbear-smiting sword | weapon | 0 | 150 | Melee Damage +10 Muscle +10 |
| Bugfinder Blade | weapon | 0 | 200 | All Attributes +7 |
| bum cheek | hat | 25 | 20 | |
| calle de miel | booze | 115 | 0 | |
| can of hair spray | miscellaneous, use item, combat use item | 12 | 0 | |
| can of maces | weapon | 55 | 50 | |
| can of Red Minotaur | drink | 337 | 0 | |
| candied kobold | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| candied yam pinky ring | familiar equipment | 75 | 0 | +5 to Familiar Weight |
| candy cane | food | 0 | 0 | |
| carob brownies | food | 60 | 0 | |
| carob chunk noodles | food | 75 | 0 | |
| carob chunks | food, cooking ingredient | 30 | 0 | |
| carob-chunk cookies | food | 52 | 0 | |
| casino pass | miscellaneous | 50 | 0 | |
| cast | miscellaneous, use item, combat use item | 32 | 0 | |
| cat appendix | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 47 | 0 | |
| catgut | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 44 | 0 | |
| catsup | food, meatsmithing ingredient, cooking ingredient | 100 | 0 | |
| cement shoes | accessory | 0 | 100 | Intrinsic Effect Mysticality +20 Moxie +20 |
| Certificate of Participation | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| chaos butterfly | miscellaneous, use item, combat use item | 124 | 0 | |
| charrrm | miscellaneous | 47 | 0 | |
| charrrm bracelet | accessory | 71 | 70 | Moxie +5 |
| cheap toaster | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| chef skull | miscellaneous | 71 | 0 | |
| chef's hat | hat | 45 | 40 | |
| chef-in-the-box | miscellaneous, use item | 140 | 0 | |
| chef-skull-in-the-box | miscellaneous | 87 | 0 | |
| cherry | food, cocktail ingredient | 60 | 0 | |
| cherry bomb | booze | 0 | 0 | |
| Cheshire Bitten | familiar | 0 | 0 | |
| chest of the Bonerdagon | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| chewing gum on a string | miscellaneous | 15 | 0 | |
| Childrens' Meal of the Damned | food | 31 | 0 | |
| chocolate spurs | familiar equipment | 75 | 0 | +5 to Familiar Weight |
| chorizo brownies | food | 71 | 0 | |
| chorizo taco | food | 52 | 0 | |
| chrome crossbow | weapon, crossbow | 180 | 120 | |
| chrome crossbow string | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient, crossbow | 95 | 0 | |
| chrome helmet turtle | hat | 101 | 120 | All Attributes +5 |
| chrome meat stack | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 100 | 0 | |
| chrome ore | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 50 | 0 | |
| chrome staff | weapon, staff | 180 | 120 | |
| chrome stick | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 95 | 0 | |
| chrome sword | weapon, sword | 180 | 120 | |
| chrome sword hilt | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 95 | 0 | |
| cloudy potion | miscellaneous, use item | 60 | 0 | |
| clown shoes | accessory | 25 | 50 | Maximum MP +7 |
| Cobb's Knob lab key | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| cocktailcrafting kit | craft | 500 | 0 | |
| cocoa egg | familiar, cooking ingredient | 403 | 0 | |
| cocoa eggshell fragment | food, cooking ingredient | 114 | 0 | |
| coconut shell | hat, cocktail ingredient | 35 | 30 | |
| coffee sprite | familiar | 0 | 0 | |
| cog | miscellaneous | 11 | 0 | |
| cog and sprocket assembly | miscellaneous | 25 | 0 | |
| Cold Hots candy | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| cold ninja mask | hat | 75 | 70 | |
| concentrated magicalness pill | miscellaneous, use item | 500 | 0 | |
| consolation ribbon | accessory | 0 | 0 | All Attributes +1 |
| continuum transfunctioner | accessory | 0 | 0 | |
| cool whip | weapon, whip | 25 | 20 | |
| cornuthaum | hat | 75 | 70 | Mysticality +3 Moxie +3 |
| cosmic lemonade | miscellaneous, use item | 36 | 0 | |
| cottage | miscellaneous, use item | 50 | 0 | |
| cranberries | food, cooking ingredient, cocktail ingredient | 29 | 0 | |
| crazy bastard sword | weapon, sword | 0 | 75 | Muscle +5 melee damage +15 3x chance of Critical Hit |
| crimbo elfling | familiar | 0 | 0 | |
| Crimbo hat | hat | 0 | 100 | Spooky Resistance |
| Crimbo pants | pants | 0 | 100 | Combat Initiative +30% |
| Crimbo pressie | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| Crimbo stocking | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| Crimbo sword | weapon | 0 | 100 | Melee Damage +5 |
| crossbow string | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient, crossbow | 50 | 0 | |
| crowbarrr | weapon | 75 | 70 | |
| Crown of the Goblin King | hat | 110 | 70 | Muscle +10 |
| crusty L-shaped piece of metal | miscellaneous | 5 | 0 | |
| custom avatar form | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| Dark Jill-O-Lantern | familiar | 0 | 0 | |
| dark potion | miscellaneous, use item | 60 | 0 | |
| dead guy's watch | accessory | 60 | 50 | |
| decorative fountain | miscellaneous, use item | 34 | 0 | |
| Degrassi Knoll shopping list | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| delicious noodles | food | 33 | 0 | |
| delicious spicy noodles | food | 33 | 0 | |
| demonskin trousers | pants | 55 | 50 | |
| denim axe | weapon | 145 | 140 | |
| dense meat stack | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 1000 | 0 | |
| dental pliers | familiar equipment | 75 | 0 | +5 to Familiar Weight |
| detective skull | hat | 50 | 60 | |
| diamond-studded cane | weapon | 95 | 60 | Moxie +9 |
| dictionary | miscellaneous, combat use item, meatsmithing ingredient | 24 | 0 | |
| digital key | miscellaneous | 65 | 0 | |
| dill | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 75 | 0 | |
| dill potion | miscellaneous, use item | 77 | 0 | |
| dinghy plans | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| dingy dinghy | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| dingy planks | miscellaneous | 100 | 0 | |
| dirty hobo gloves | weapon | 31 | 20 | +1 Stench Damage |
| dirty martini | booze | 0 | 0 | |
| disassembled clover | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| Disco 'Fro Pick | hat | 0 | 50 | Moxie +7 |
| disco ball | miscellaneous, use item | 1 | 0 | |
| Disco Banjo | weapon | 150 | 50 | Moxie +7 |
| disco mask | hat | 1 | 10 | |
| disease | miscellaneous, combat use item | 22 | 0 | |
| disembodied brain | miscellaneous, use item | 19 | 0 | |
| disturbing fanfic | miscellaneous, use item | 132 | 0 | |
| Doc Galaktik's Ailment Ointment | miscellaneous, use item, combat use item | 30 | 0 | |
| Doc Galaktik's Homeopathic Elixir | miscellaneous, use item, combat use item | 120 | 0 | |
| Doc Galaktik's Pungent Unguent | miscellaneous, use item, combat use item | 15 | 0 | |
| Doc Galaktik's Restorative Balm | miscellaneous, use item, combat use item | 60 | 0 | |
| dodecagram | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| dope wheels | miscellaneous | 110 | 0 | |
| Double Bacon Beelzeburger | food | 31 | 0 | |
| Double-Minty Gum | miscellaneous, use item | 50 | 0 | |
| Dr. Hobo's map | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| Dr. Hobo's scalpel | weapon | 70 | 40 | Melee Damage +3 |
| drab potion | miscellaneous, use item | 36 | 0 | |
| drab sonata | miscellaneous, use item | 52 | 0 | |
| draggin' ball hat | hat | 135 | 90 | Intrinsic Effect |
| dragonbone belt buckle | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| dried face | miscellaneous | 7 | 0 | |
| dripping meat crossbow | weapon, crossbow | 200 | 40 | Moxie +3 |
| dripping meat staff | weapon, staff | 200 | 40 | Mysticality +3 |
| dripping meat sword | weapon, sword | 200 | 40 | Muscle +3 |
| dry martini | booze, cocktail ingredient | 90 | 0 | |
| dry noodles | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 1 | 0 | |
| dry vodka martini | booze, cocktail ingredient | 90 | 0 | |
| drywall axe | weapon | 155 | 150 | |
| ducha de oro | booze | 115 | 0 | |
| dungeoneer's dungarees | pants | 35 | 30 | |
| dwarf bread | food | 0 | 0 | |
| Dyspepsi-Cola | miscellaneous, use item, combat use item, cocktail ingredient | 52 | 0 | |
| E-Z Cook Oven™ | craft | 500 | 0 | |
| easter egg balloon | accessory | 0 | 0 | All Attributes +5 |
| effervescent potion | miscellaneous, use item | 60 | 0 | |
| eggnog | booze | 49 | 0 | |
| El Sombrero De Lopez | hat | 0 | 50 | Moxie +7 |
| Elder Turtle Shell | hat | 0 | 50 | Muscle +7 |
| eldritch butterknife | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| Elf Farm Raffle ticket | miscellaneous, use item | 48 | 0 | |
| Elfin shortbread | food | 49 | 0 | |
| empty meat tank | miscellaneous | 10 | 0 | |
| empty Orcish meat locker | miscellaneous, use item | 6 | 0 | |
| enchanted barbell | miscellaneous, use item | 500 | 0 | |
| enchanted bean | miscellaneous, use item, cooking ingredient | 25 | 0 | |
| enchanted bean burrito | food, cooking ingredient | 54 | 0 | |
| enchanted brass knuckles | accessory | 500 | 80 | 2x chance of Critical Hit |
| enchanted eyepatch | hat | 60 | 35 | Mysticality +5 |
| enormous belt buckle | miscellaneous | 59 | 0 | |
| Ent cider | drink | 33 | 0 | |
| equilibrium juice | miscellaneous, use item | 36 | 0 | |
| especially homoerotic frat-paddle | weapon | 75 | 150 | |
| especially salty dog | booze | 154 | 0 | |
| evil golden arch | miscellaneous | 38 | 0 | |
| evil golden arches | miscellaneous, use item | 68 | 0 | |
| exclusive ultra-rare item | accessory | 0 | 0 | All Attributes +15 |
| extra special Crimbo stocking | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| extra-spicy bloody mary | booze | 66 | 0 | |
| extra-strength strongness elixir | miscellaneous, use item | 700 | 0 | |
| eXtreme meat crossbow | weapon, crossbow | 160 | 45 | Moxie +5 |
| eXtreme meat staff | weapon, staff | 160 | 45 | Mysticality +5 |
| eXtreme meat sword | weapon, sword | 160 | 45 | Muscle +5 |
| eXtreme mittens | accessory | 115 | 110 | Melee Damage +2 |
| eXtreme nose ring | accessory | 85 | 80 | All Attributes +3 |
| eXtreme scarf | hat | 59 | 40 | |
| eye-pod | familiar equipment | 75 | 0 | +5 to Familiar Weight |
| eyepatch | hat | 30 | 25 | |
| f3d0r4 | hat | 130 | 90 | Moxie +6 |
| fairy gravy | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 5 | 0 | |
| Familiar-Gro™ Terrarium | miscellaneous, use item | 250 | 0 | |
| fancy schmancy cheese sauce | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 31 | 0 | |
| fat stacks of cash | miscellaneous | 150 | 0 | |
| Feng Shui for Big Dumb Idiots | miscellaneous, use item | 33 | 0 | |
| Ferita Del Petto Zinfandel | booze | 0 | 0 | |
| fermenting powder | miscellaneous, cocktail ingredient | 150 | 0 | |
| fertilized ghuol egg | familiar | 19 | 0 | |
| fettucini Inconnu | food | 61 | 0 | |
| fetus-smashing club | weapon | 0 | 200 | |
| fez of etymology | hat | 142 | 60 | Moxie +7 |
| filthy corduroys | pants | 40 | 35 | |
| filthy knitted dread sack | hat | 40 | 35 | |
| fine wine | booze | 188 | 0 | |
| fish hose | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| fishbowl | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| fishtank | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| fizzy potion | miscellaneous, use item | 60 | 0 | |
| flaming crutch | miscellaneous | 31 | 0 | |
| flaming talons | accessory | 58 | 60 | Melee Damage +5 |
| flat dough | miscellaneous, use item, cooking ingredient | 35 | 0 | |
| foolscap fool's cap | hat | 45 | 40 | |
| foon | weapon, meatsmithing ingredient | 35 | 30 | |
| fortune cookie | miscellaneous, use item | 100 | 0 | |
| frigid ninja stars | miscellaneous, combat use item | 67 | 0 | |
| frilly skirt | pants | 40 | 35 | |
| Frobozz Real-Estate Company Instant House (TM) | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| frozen nunchaku | weapon | 105 | 70 | Melee Damage +3 |
| fruitcake | food | 0 | 0 | |
| full meat tank | miscellaneous | 108 | 0 | |
| furry fur | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 129 | 0 | |
| furry pants | pants | 165 | 160 | |
| fuzzbump | booze | 115 | 0 | |
| fuzzy bracelets | accessory | 0 | 0 | All Attributes +15 |
| fuzzy dice | familiar | 0 | 0 | |
| gasmask | hat | 16 | 50 | Stench Resistance |
| Gauze Immateria | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| ghost cucumber | food, cooking ingredient | 75 | 0 | |
| ghost pickle on a stick | familiar | 450 | 0 | |
| ghostly pickling solution | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 255 | 0 | |
| ghuol ears | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 16 | 0 | |
| ghuol egg | food, cooking ingredient, cocktail ingredient | 16 | 0 | |
| ghuol egg quiche | food | 46 | 0 | |
| ghuol guolash | food | 29 | 0 | |
| ghuol-ear kabob | food | 52 | 0 | |
| giant castle map | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| giant moxie weed | miscellaneous, use item | 500 | 0 | |
| giant needle | weapon | 165 | 160 | |
| gingerbread bugbear | food | 0 | 0 | |
| glass of goat's milk | drink, cooking ingredient, cocktail ingredient | 23 | 0 | |
| glowing red eye | accessory | 133 | 200 | Spooky Resistance |
| gnatwing | miscellaneous | 52 | 0 | |
| gnatwing earring | accessory | 107 | 70 | Combat Initiative +10% |
| gnocchetti di Nietzsche | food | 61 | 0 | |
| gnoll lips | miscellaneous, use item | 11 | 0 | |
| gnoll teeth | miscellaneous | 12 | 0 | |
| gnoll-tooth necklace | accessory | 42 | 80 | Muscle +5 |
| Gnollish autoplunger | weapon | 160 | 60 | |
| Gnollish casserole dish | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 75 | 0 | |
| Gnollish flyswatter | weapon | 40 | 35 | |
| Gnollish nunchaku | weapon | 50 | 45 | |
| Gnollish pie tin | miscellaneous | 15 | 0 | |
| Gnollish plunger | weapon | 40 | 35 | |
| Gnollish toolbox | miscellaneous, use item | 23 | 0 | |
| goat | familiar | 47 | 0 | |
| goat beard | hat | 45 | 40 | |
| goat cheese | food, cooking ingredient | 22 | 0 | |
| goat cheese pizza | food | 84 | 0 | |
| Golden Mr. Accessory | accessory | 0 | 0 | All Attributes +15 |
| golden twig | miscellaneous | 100 | 0 | |
| goofballs | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| gourd potion | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| gr8ps | food, cooking ingredient | 59 | 0 | |
| grapefruit | food, cooking ingredient, cocktail ingredient | 35 | 0 | |
| grapefruit juice of powerful power | miscellaneous, use item | 36 | 0 | |
| grapes | food, cooking ingredient, cocktail ingredient | 35 | 0 | |
| grave robbing shovel | weapon | 45 | 40 | |
| green pixel | miscellaneous | 25 | 0 | |
| green pixel potion | miscellaneous, use item, combat use item | 50 | 0 | |
| grog | booze, cocktail ingredient | 78 | 0 | |
| grogtini | booze | 0 | 0 | |
| grue egg | familiar | 0 | 0 | |
| guano coffee cup | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 12 | 0 | |
| guild application | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| guitar pick | miscellaneous | 25 | 0 | |
| hand turkey outline | familiar | 0 | 0 | |
| Hanukkimbo dreidl | familiar | 0 | 0 | |
| heart of rock and roll | miscellaneous | 101 | 0 | |
| heavy D | miscellaneous | 135 | 0 | |
| heavy hot sauce | miscellaneous | 101 | 0 | |
| heavy metal sonata | miscellaneous, use item | 94 | 0 | |
| heavy metal thunderrr guitarrr | miscellaneous, use item | 87 | 0 | |
| hedge maze key | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| hedge maze puzzle | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| Hell broth | food, cooking ingredient | 38 | 0 | |
| Hell ramen | food | 61 | 0 | |
| hellion cube | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 37 | 0 | |
| helmet recipe | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 50 | 0 | |
| helmet turtle | hat, meatsmithing ingredient | 1 | 10 | |
| hemp backpack | container | 95 | 300 | |
| hemp bracelet | accessory | 32 | 70 | |
| henna tattoo | miscellaneous, use item | 38 | 0 | |
| herb brownies | food | 61 | 0 | |
| herbs | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 32 | 0 | |
| hermit permit | miscellaneous | 50 | 0 | |
| hermit script | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| heteroerotic frat-paddle | weapon | 75 | 150 | |
| Hey Deze map | miscellaneous, use item | 49 | 0 | |
| Hey Deze nuts | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| Himalayan Hidalgo sauce | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 31 | 0 | |
| hippo skin buckler | accessory | 144 | 0 | Damage Absorption +20% Muscle +5 |
| hippo whip | weapon, whip | 145 | 20 | +5 to Monster Level |
| hippopotamus pants | pants | 141 | 100 | Maximum HP +25 |
| hippopotamus skin | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 98 | 0 | |
| hippy herbal tea | drink | 42 | 0 | |
| homoerotic frat-paddle | weapon | 75 | 70 | |
| horizontal tango | booze | 115 | 0 | |
| hosed fishbowl | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| hosed tank | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| hot buttered roll | food | 100 | 0 | |
| hot katana blade | miscellaneous | 35 | 0 | |
| hot wing | food | 32 | 0 | |
| huge mirror shard | weapon | 0 | 30 | |
| hypnodisk | accessory | 0 | 0 | +10% Item Drops from Monsters |
| hypodermic needle | familiar equipment | 75 | 0 | +5 to Familiar Weight |
| ice-cold beer | booze, cocktail ingredient | 30 | 0 | |
| ice-cold beer | booze, cocktail ingredient | 30 | 0 | |
| | |