| Name | Type | Sell Value | Power | Notes |
| 'Villa' document | miscellaneous, use item | 125000000 | 0 | |
| 100-Watt bulb | familiar equipment | 75 | 0 | +5 to Familiar Weight |
| 1337 7r0uZ0RZ | pants | 130 | 90 | Intrinsic Effect |
| 30669 scroll | miscellaneous | 55 | 0 | |
| 31337 scroll | miscellaneous, use item | 132 | 0 | |
| 33398 scroll | miscellaneous | 57 | 0 | |
| 334 scroll | miscellaneous | 51 | 0 | |
| 5-Alarm Saucepan | weapon | 150 | 50 | Mysticality +7 |
| 64067 scroll | miscellaneous | 101 | 0 | |
| 64735 scroll | miscellaneous, use item | 165 | 0 | |
| 668 scroll | miscellaneous, use item | 87 | 0 | |
| 7-Foot Dwarven mattock | weapon | 55 | 50 | |
| a little sump'm sump'm | booze | 115 | 0 | |
| abominable snowcone | food | 30 | 0 | |
| abridged dictionary | miscellaneous | 38 | 0 | |
| acid-squirting flower | accessory | 25 | 60 | |
| acoustic guitarrr | miscellaneous, use item | 49 | 0 | |
| Acqua Del Piatto Merlot | booze | 0 | 0 | |
| Acque Luride Grezze Cabernet | booze | 0 | 0 | |
| action figure body | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| action figure head | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| alarming strawberry juice | miscellaneous, use item | 36 | 0 | |
| amulet of extreme plot significance | accessory | 250 | 70 | Maximum MP +30 |
| Ancient Saucehelm | hat | 0 | 50 | Mysticality +7 |
| Angry Farmer candy | miscellaneous, use item | 137 | 0 | |
| anti-anti-antidote | miscellaneous, use item | 20 | 0 | |
| anticheese | miscellaneous | 30 | 0 | |
| arrrgyle socks | accessory | 48 | 70 | Mysticality +6 |
| arse-a'fire elixir | miscellaneous, use item | 36 | 0 | |
| arse-shooting crossbow | weapon | 0 | 160 | All Attributes +15 |
| asbestos crossbow | weapon, crossbow | 180 | 100 | Moxie +9 |
| asbestos crossbow string | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient, crossbow | 95 | 0 | |
| asbestos helmet turtle | hat | 101 | 80 | Heat Resistance |
| asbestos meat stack | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 100 | 0 | |
| asbestos ore | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 50 | 0 | |
| asbestos staff | weapon, staff | 180 | 100 | Mysticality +9 |
| asbestos stick | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 95 | 0 | |
| asbestos sword | weapon, sword | 180 | 100 | Muscle +9 |
| asbestos sword hilt | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 95 | 0 | |
| asparagus knife | weapon | 16 | 15 | +1 Stench Damage |
| asparagus stir-fry | food, cooking ingredient | 67 | 0 | |
| asshat | hat | 45 | 30 | Stench Resistance |
| awful poetry journal | miscellaneous, use item | 136 | 0 | |
| baby killer bee | familiar | 76 | 0 | |
| badass belt | accessory | 0 | 80 | All Attributes +5 |
| balloon helmet | hat | 39 | 60 | |
| balloon monkey | familiar | 67 | 0 | |
| balloon sword | weapon, sword | 51 | 60 | |
| banjo strings | miscellaneous | 100 | 0 | |
| bar skin | miscellaneous | 5 | 0 | |
| barbed-wire fence | miscellaneous, use item, combat use item | 31 | 0 | |
| barrnacle | familiar | 48 | 0 | |
| barskin hat | hat | 6 | 25 | |
| barskin tent | miscellaneous, use item | 9 | 0 | |
| bartender skull | miscellaneous | 81 | 0 | |
| bartender-in-the-box | miscellaneous, use item | 140 | 0 | |
| bartender-skull-in-the-box | miscellaneous | 78 | 0 | |
| baseball | miscellaneous, use item, combat use item | 11 | 0 | |
| basic meat crossbow | weapon, meatsmithing ingredient, crossbow | 140 | 30 | |
| basic meat fez | hat, meatsmithing ingredient | 140 | 40 | |
| basic meat foon | weapon | 140 | 50 | Muscle +2 melee damage +3 |
| basic meat helmet | hat, meatsmithing ingredient | 140 | 30 | |
| basic meat pants | pants, meatsmithing ingredient | 140 | 30 | |
| basic meat spork | weapon | 140 | 40 | |
| basic meat staff | weapon, meatsmithing ingredient, staff | 140 | 30 | |
| basic meat sword | weapon, meatsmithing ingredient, sword | 140 | 30 | |
| bat guano | miscellaneous, use item | 12 | 0 | |
| bat haggis | food | 106 | 0 | |
| bat wing | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 14 | 0 | |
| bat wing chow mein | food | 73 | 0 | |
| bat wing kabob | food | 50 | 0 | |
| bat wing stir-fry | food, cooking ingredient | 69 | 0 | |
| batblade | weapon, sword | 135 | 130 | |
| batgut | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 12 | 0 | |
| batskin belt | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| bean burrito | food, cooking ingredient | 54 | 0 | |
| beanbag chair | miscellaneous, use item | 48 | 0 | |
| beans | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 23 | 0 | |
| beer goggles | accessory | 57 | 0 | |
| beer lens | miscellaneous | 31 | 0 | |
| beertini | booze | 60 | 0 | |
| bejeweled accordion strap | accessory | 1000 | 0 | HP/MP +25 |
| big ol' trophy | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| big red clown nose | accessory | 25 | 50 | |
| big rock | miscellaneous | 1 | 0 | |
| big stick | weapon, meatsmithing ingredient | 50 | 10 | |
| Bigger Bugfinder Blade | weapon | 0 | 200 | All Attributes +9 |
| birthday candle | miscellaneous, use item | 50 | 0 | |
| bitchin' meatcar | miscellaneous | 200 | 0 | |
| Bjorn's Hammer | weapon | 80 | 50 | Muscle +7 |
| black pixel | miscellaneous | 25 | 0 | |
| bling-bling | accessory | 50 | 0 | Moxie +1 |
| blood of the Wereseal | miscellaneous, use item | 250 | 0 | |
| blood-faced volleyball | familiar | 101 | 0 | |
| bloody beer | booze | 60 | 0 | |
| bloody clown pants | pants | 65 | 60 | |
| bloody mary | booze, cocktail ingredient | 65 | 0 | |
| blue pixel | miscellaneous | 25 | 0 | |
| blue pixel potion | miscellaneous, use item, combat use item | 50 | 0 | |
| blundarrrbus | familiar equipment | 75 | 0 | +5 to Familiar Weight |
| bodyslam | booze | 0 | 0 | |
| bone rattle | miscellaneous | 23 | 0 | |
| boring spaghetti | food | 33 | 0 | |
| Boris's key | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 50 | 0 | |
| Boris's key lime | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 98 | 0 | |
| Boris's key lime pie | food | 123 | 0 | |
| Boris's ring | accessory | 50 | 50 | Muscle +10 |
| Boss Bat bandana | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| bottle of gin | booze, cocktail ingredient | 35 | 0 | |
| bottle of rum | booze, cocktail ingredient | 35 | 0 | |
| bottle of tequila | booze, cocktail ingredient | 35 | 0 | |
| bottle of vodka | booze, cocktail ingredient | 35 | 0 | |
| bottle of whiskey | booze, cocktail ingredient | 35 | 0 | |
| bow | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 0 | 0 | |
| bow staff | weapon, staff | 0 | 100 | Mysticality +5 melee damage +3 |
| bowl of cottage cheese | food | 31 | 0 | |
| bowl of lucky charms | food | 35 | 0 | |
| bowlegged pants | pants | 0 | 100 | Moxie +5 |
| bowler | hat | 0 | 100 | Muscle +5 |
| box | accessory | 19 | 0 | carrying capacity +30 |
| box of birthday candles | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| box-in-the-box | accessory | 38 | 0 | carrying capacity +50 |
| box-in-the-box-in-the-box | accessory | 54 | 0 | carrying capacity +70 |
| boxed wine | booze, cocktail ingredient | 35 | 0 | |
| brainy skull | miscellaneous, use item | 32 | 0 | |
| brass stinger | familiar equipment | 75 | 0 | +5 to Familiar Weight |
| bridge | miscellaneous | 16 | 0 | |
| briefcase | miscellaneous, use item | 15 | 0 | |
| Brimstone Chicken Sandwich | food | 31 | 0 | |
| brine | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient, cocktail ingredient | 77 | 0 | |
| briny vinegar | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 160 | 0 | |
| broken cellular phone | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| broken skull | miscellaneous | 15 | 0 | |
| bubbly potion | miscellaneous, use item | 60 | 0 | |
| buckler buckle | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 50 | 0 | |
| bugbear beanie | hat | 25 | 20 | |
| bugbear bungguard | pants | 35 | 30 | |
| bugbear-smiting sword | weapon | 0 | 150 | Melee Damage +10 Muscle +10 |
| Bugfinder Blade | weapon | 0 | 200 | All Attributes +7 |
| bum cheek | hat | 25 | 20 | |
| calle de miel | booze | 115 | 0 | |
| can of hair spray | miscellaneous, use item, combat use item | 12 | 0 | |
| can of maces | weapon | 55 | 50 | |
| can of Red Minotaur | drink | 337 | 0 | |
| candied kobold | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| candied yam pinky ring | familiar equipment | 75 | 0 | +5 to Familiar Weight |
| candy cane | food | 0 | 0 | |
| carob brownies | food | 60 | 0 | |
| carob chunk noodles | food | 75 | 0 | |
| carob chunks | food, cooking ingredient | 30 | 0 | |
| carob-chunk cookies | food | 52 | 0 | |
| casino pass | miscellaneous | 50 | 0 | |
| cast | miscellaneous, use item, combat use item | 32 | 0 | |
| cat appendix | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 47 | 0 | |
| catgut | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 44 | 0 | |
| catsup | food, meatsmithing ingredient, cooking ingredient | 100 | 0 | |
| cement shoes | accessory | 0 | 100 | Intrinsic Effect Mysticality +20 Moxie +20 |
| Certificate of Participation | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| chaos butterfly | miscellaneous, use item, combat use item | 124 | 0 | |
| charrrm | miscellaneous | 47 | 0 | |
| charrrm bracelet | accessory | 71 | 70 | Moxie +5 |
| cheap toaster | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| chef skull | miscellaneous | 71 | 0 | |
| chef's hat | hat | 45 | 40 | |
| chef-in-the-box | miscellaneous, use item | 140 | 0 | |
| chef-skull-in-the-box | miscellaneous | 87 | 0 | |
| cherry | food, cocktail ingredient | 60 | 0 | |
| cherry bomb | booze | 0 | 0 | |
| Cheshire Bitten | familiar | 0 | 0 | |
| chest of the Bonerdagon | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| chewing gum on a string | miscellaneous | 15 | 0 | |
| Childrens' Meal of the Damned | food | 31 | 0 | |
| chocolate spurs | familiar equipment | 75 | 0 | +5 to Familiar Weight |
| chorizo brownies | food | 71 | 0 | |
| chorizo taco | food | 52 | 0 | |
| chrome crossbow | weapon, crossbow | 180 | 120 | |
| chrome crossbow string | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient, crossbow | 95 | 0 | |
| chrome helmet turtle | hat | 101 | 120 | All Attributes +5 |
| chrome meat stack | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 100 | 0 | |
| chrome ore | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 50 | 0 | |
| chrome staff | weapon, staff | 180 | 120 | |
| chrome stick | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 95 | 0 | |
| chrome sword | weapon, sword | 180 | 120 | |
| chrome sword hilt | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 95 | 0 | |
| cloudy potion | miscellaneous, use item | 60 | 0 | |
| clown shoes | accessory | 25 | 50 | Maximum MP +7 |
| Cobb's Knob lab key | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| cocktailcrafting kit | craft | 500 | 0 | |
| cocoa egg | familiar, cooking ingredient | 403 | 0 | |
| cocoa eggshell fragment | food, cooking ingredient | 114 | 0 | |
| coconut shell | hat, cocktail ingredient | 35 | 30 | |
| coffee sprite | familiar | 0 | 0 | |
| cog | miscellaneous | 11 | 0 | |
| cog and sprocket assembly | miscellaneous | 25 | 0 | |
| Cold Hots candy | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| cold ninja mask | hat | 75 | 70 | |
| concentrated magicalness pill | miscellaneous, use item | 500 | 0 | |
| consolation ribbon | accessory | 0 | 0 | All Attributes +1 |
| continuum transfunctioner | accessory | 0 | 0 | |
| cool whip | weapon, whip | 25 | 20 | |
| cornuthaum | hat | 75 | 70 | Mysticality +3 Moxie +3 |
| cosmic lemonade | miscellaneous, use item | 36 | 0 | |
| cottage | miscellaneous, use item | 50 | 0 | |
| cranberries | food, cooking ingredient, cocktail ingredient | 29 | 0 | |
| crazy bastard sword | weapon, sword | 0 | 75 | Muscle +5 melee damage +15 3x chance of Critical Hit |
| crimbo elfling | familiar | 0 | 0 | |
| Crimbo hat | hat | 0 | 100 | Spooky Resistance |
| Crimbo pants | pants | 0 | 100 | Combat Initiative +30% |
| Crimbo pressie | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| Crimbo stocking | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| Crimbo sword | weapon | 0 | 100 | Melee Damage +5 |
| crossbow string | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient, crossbow | 50 | 0 | |
| crowbarrr | weapon | 75 | 70 | |
| Crown of the Goblin King | hat | 110 | 70 | Muscle +10 |
| crusty L-shaped piece of metal | miscellaneous | 5 | 0 | |
| custom avatar form | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| Dark Jill-O-Lantern | familiar | 0 | 0 | |
| dark potion | miscellaneous, use item | 60 | 0 | |
| dead guy's watch | accessory | 60 | 50 | |
| decorative fountain | miscellaneous, use item | 34 | 0 | |
| Degrassi Knoll shopping list | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| delicious noodles | food | 33 | 0 | |
| delicious spicy noodles | food | 33 | 0 | |
| demonskin trousers | pants | 55 | 50 | |
| denim axe | weapon | 145 | 140 | |
| dense meat stack | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 1000 | 0 | |
| dental pliers | familiar equipment | 75 | 0 | +5 to Familiar Weight |
| detective skull | hat | 50 | 60 | |
| diamond-studded cane | weapon | 95 | 60 | Moxie +9 |
| dictionary | miscellaneous, combat use item, meatsmithing ingredient | 24 | 0 | |
| digital key | miscellaneous | 65 | 0 | |
| dill | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 75 | 0 | |
| dill potion | miscellaneous, use item | 77 | 0 | |
| dinghy plans | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| dingy dinghy | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| dingy planks | miscellaneous | 100 | 0 | |
| dirty hobo gloves | weapon | 31 | 20 | +1 Stench Damage |
| dirty martini | booze | 0 | 0 | |
| disassembled clover | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| Disco 'Fro Pick | hat | 0 | 50 | Moxie +7 |
| disco ball | miscellaneous, use item | 1 | 0 | |
| Disco Banjo | weapon | 150 | 50 | Moxie +7 |
| disco mask | hat | 1 | 10 | |
| disease | miscellaneous, combat use item | 22 | 0 | |
| disembodied brain | miscellaneous, use item | 19 | 0 | |
| disturbing fanfic | miscellaneous, use item | 132 | 0 | |
| Doc Galaktik's Ailment Ointment | miscellaneous, use item, combat use item | 30 | 0 | |
| Doc Galaktik's Homeopathic Elixir | miscellaneous, use item, combat use item | 120 | 0 | |
| Doc Galaktik's Pungent Unguent | miscellaneous, use item, combat use item | 15 | 0 | |
| Doc Galaktik's Restorative Balm | miscellaneous, use item, combat use item | 60 | 0 | |
| dodecagram | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| dope wheels | miscellaneous | 110 | 0 | |
| Double Bacon Beelzeburger | food | 31 | 0 | |
| Double-Minty Gum | miscellaneous, use item | 50 | 0 | |
| Dr. Hobo's map | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| Dr. Hobo's scalpel | weapon | 70 | 40 | Melee Damage +3 |
| drab potion | miscellaneous, use item | 36 | 0 | |
| drab sonata | miscellaneous, use item | 52 | 0 | |
| draggin' ball hat | hat | 135 | 90 | Intrinsic Effect |
| dragonbone belt buckle | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| dried face | miscellaneous | 7 | 0 | |
| dripping meat crossbow | weapon, crossbow | 200 | 40 | Moxie +3 |
| dripping meat staff | weapon, staff | 200 | 40 | Mysticality +3 |
| dripping meat sword | weapon, sword | 200 | 40 | Muscle +3 |
| dry martini | booze, cocktail ingredient | 90 | 0 | |
| dry noodles | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 1 | 0 | |
| dry vodka martini | booze, cocktail ingredient | 90 | 0 | |
| drywall axe | weapon | 155 | 150 | |
| ducha de oro | booze | 115 | 0 | |
| dungeoneer's dungarees | pants | 35 | 30 | |
| dwarf bread | food | 0 | 0 | |
| Dyspepsi-Cola | miscellaneous, use item, combat use item, cocktail ingredient | 52 | 0 | |
| E-Z Cook Oven™ | craft | 500 | 0 | |
| easter egg balloon | accessory | 0 | 0 | All Attributes +5 |
| effervescent potion | miscellaneous, use item | 60 | 0 | |
| eggnog | booze | 49 | 0 | |
| El Sombrero De Lopez | hat | 0 | 50 | Moxie +7 |
| Elder Turtle Shell | hat | 0 | 50 | Muscle +7 |
| eldritch butterknife | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| Elf Farm Raffle ticket | miscellaneous, use item | 48 | 0 | |
| Elfin shortbread | food | 49 | 0 | |
| empty meat tank | miscellaneous | 10 | 0 | |
| empty Orcish meat locker | miscellaneous, use item | 6 | 0 | |
| enchanted barbell | miscellaneous, use item | 500 | 0 | |
| enchanted bean | miscellaneous, use item, cooking ingredient | 25 | 0 | |
| enchanted bean burrito | food, cooking ingredient | 54 | 0 | |
| enchanted brass knuckles | accessory | 500 | 80 | 2x chance of Critical Hit |
| enchanted eyepatch | hat | 60 | 35 | Mysticality +5 |
| enormous belt buckle | miscellaneous | 59 | 0 | |
| Ent cider | drink | 33 | 0 | |
| equilibrium juice | miscellaneous, use item | 36 | 0 | |
| especially homoerotic frat-paddle | weapon | 75 | 150 | |
| especially salty dog | booze | 154 | 0 | |
| evil golden arch | miscellaneous | 38 | 0 | |
| evil golden arches | miscellaneous, use item | 68 | 0 | |
| exclusive ultra-rare item | accessory | 0 | 0 | All Attributes +15 |
| extra special Crimbo stocking | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| extra-spicy bloody mary | booze | 66 | 0 | |
| extra-strength strongness elixir | miscellaneous, use item | 700 | 0 | |
| eXtreme meat crossbow | weapon, crossbow | 160 | 45 | Moxie +5 |
| eXtreme meat staff | weapon, staff | 160 | 45 | Mysticality +5 |
| eXtreme meat sword | weapon, sword | 160 | 45 | Muscle +5 |
| eXtreme mittens | accessory | 115 | 110 | Melee Damage +2 |
| eXtreme nose ring | accessory | 85 | 80 | All Attributes +3 |
| eXtreme scarf | hat | 59 | 40 | |
| eye-pod | familiar equipment | 75 | 0 | +5 to Familiar Weight |
| eyepatch | hat | 30 | 25 | |
| f3d0r4 | hat | 130 | 90 | Moxie +6 |
| fairy gravy | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 5 | 0 | |
| Familiar-Gro™ Terrarium | miscellaneous, use item | 250 | 0 | |
| fancy schmancy cheese sauce | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 31 | 0 | |
| fat stacks of cash | miscellaneous | 150 | 0 | |
| Feng Shui for Big Dumb Idiots | miscellaneous, use item | 33 | 0 | |
| Ferita Del Petto Zinfandel | booze | 0 | 0 | |
| fermenting powder | miscellaneous, cocktail ingredient | 150 | 0 | |
| fertilized ghuol egg | familiar | 19 | 0 | |
| fettucini Inconnu | food | 61 | 0 | |
| fetus-smashing club | weapon | 0 | 200 | |
| fez of etymology | hat | 142 | 60 | Moxie +7 |
| filthy corduroys | pants | 40 | 35 | |
| filthy knitted dread sack | hat | 40 | 35 | |
| fine wine | booze | 188 | 0 | |
| fish hose | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| fishbowl | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| fishtank | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| fizzy potion | miscellaneous, use item | 60 | 0 | |
| flaming crutch | miscellaneous | 31 | 0 | |
| flaming talons | accessory | 58 | 60 | Melee Damage +5 |
| flat dough | miscellaneous, use item, cooking ingredient | 35 | 0 | |
| foolscap fool's cap | hat | 45 | 40 | |
| foon | weapon, meatsmithing ingredient | 35 | 30 | |
| fortune cookie | miscellaneous, use item | 100 | 0 | |
| frigid ninja stars | miscellaneous, combat use item | 67 | 0 | |
| frilly skirt | pants | 40 | 35 | |
| Frobozz Real-Estate Company Instant House (TM) | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| frozen nunchaku | weapon | 105 | 70 | Melee Damage +3 |
| fruitcake | food | 0 | 0 | |
| full meat tank | miscellaneous | 108 | 0 | |
| furry fur | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 129 | 0 | |
| furry pants | pants | 165 | 160 | |
| fuzzbump | booze | 115 | 0 | |
| fuzzy bracelets | accessory | 0 | 0 | All Attributes +15 |
| fuzzy dice | familiar | 0 | 0 | |
| gasmask | hat | 16 | 50 | Stench Resistance |
| Gauze Immateria | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| ghost cucumber | food, cooking ingredient | 75 | 0 | |
| ghost pickle on a stick | familiar | 450 | 0 | |
| ghostly pickling solution | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 255 | 0 | |
| ghuol ears | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 16 | 0 | |
| ghuol egg | food, cooking ingredient, cocktail ingredient | 16 | 0 | |
| ghuol egg quiche | food | 46 | 0 | |
| ghuol guolash | food | 29 | 0 | |
| ghuol-ear kabob | food | 52 | 0 | |
| giant castle map | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| giant moxie weed | miscellaneous, use item | 500 | 0 | |
| giant needle | weapon | 165 | 160 | |
| gingerbread bugbear | food | 0 | 0 | |
| glass of goat's milk | drink, cooking ingredient, cocktail ingredient | 23 | 0 | |
| glowing red eye | accessory | 133 | 200 | Spooky Resistance |
| gnatwing | miscellaneous | 52 | 0 | |
| gnatwing earring | accessory | 107 | 70 | Combat Initiative +10% |
| gnocchetti di Nietzsche | food | 61 | 0 | |
| gnoll lips | miscellaneous, use item | 11 | 0 | |
| gnoll teeth | miscellaneous | 12 | 0 | |
| gnoll-tooth necklace | accessory | 42 | 80 | Muscle +5 |
| Gnollish autoplunger | weapon | 160 | 60 | |
| Gnollish casserole dish | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 75 | 0 | |
| Gnollish flyswatter | weapon | 40 | 35 | |
| Gnollish nunchaku | weapon | 50 | 45 | |
| Gnollish pie tin | miscellaneous | 15 | 0 | |
| Gnollish plunger | weapon | 40 | 35 | |
| Gnollish toolbox | miscellaneous, use item | 23 | 0 | |
| goat | familiar | 47 | 0 | |
| goat beard | hat | 45 | 40 | |
| goat cheese | food, cooking ingredient | 22 | 0 | |
| goat cheese pizza | food | 84 | 0 | |
| Golden Mr. Accessory | accessory | 0 | 0 | All Attributes +15 |
| golden twig | miscellaneous | 100 | 0 | |
| goofballs | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| gourd potion | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| gr8ps | food, cooking ingredient | 59 | 0 | |
| grapefruit | food, cooking ingredient, cocktail ingredient | 35 | 0 | |
| grapefruit juice of powerful power | miscellaneous, use item | 36 | 0 | |
| grapes | food, cooking ingredient, cocktail ingredient | 35 | 0 | |
| grave robbing shovel | weapon | 45 | 40 | |
| green pixel | miscellaneous | 25 | 0 | |
| green pixel potion | miscellaneous, use item, combat use item | 50 | 0 | |
| grog | booze, cocktail ingredient | 78 | 0 | |
| grogtini | booze | 0 | 0 | |
| grue egg | familiar | 0 | 0 | |
| guano coffee cup | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 12 | 0 | |
| guild application | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| guitar pick | miscellaneous | 25 | 0 | |
| hand turkey outline | familiar | 0 | 0 | |
| Hanukkimbo dreidl | familiar | 0 | 0 | |
| heart of rock and roll | miscellaneous | 101 | 0 | |
| heavy D | miscellaneous | 135 | 0 | |
| heavy hot sauce | miscellaneous | 101 | 0 | |
| heavy metal sonata | miscellaneous, use item | 94 | 0 | |
| heavy metal thunderrr guitarrr | miscellaneous, use item | 87 | 0 | |
| hedge maze key | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| hedge maze puzzle | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| Hell broth | food, cooking ingredient | 38 | 0 | |
| Hell ramen | food | 61 | 0 | |
| hellion cube | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 37 | 0 | |
| helmet recipe | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 50 | 0 | |
| helmet turtle | hat, meatsmithing ingredient | 1 | 10 | |
| hemp backpack | container | 95 | 300 | |
| hemp bracelet | accessory | 32 | 70 | |
| henna tattoo | miscellaneous, use item | 38 | 0 | |
| herb brownies | food | 61 | 0 | |
| herbs | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 32 | 0 | |
| hermit permit | miscellaneous | 50 | 0 | |
| hermit script | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| heteroerotic frat-paddle | weapon | 75 | 150 | |
| Hey Deze map | miscellaneous, use item | 49 | 0 | |
| Hey Deze nuts | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| Himalayan Hidalgo sauce | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 31 | 0 | |
| hippo skin buckler | accessory | 144 | 0 | Damage Absorption +20% Muscle +5 |
| hippo whip | weapon, whip | 145 | 20 | +5 to Monster Level |
| hippopotamus pants | pants | 141 | 100 | Maximum HP +25 |
| hippopotamus skin | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 98 | 0 | |
| hippy herbal tea | drink | 42 | 0 | |
| homoerotic frat-paddle | weapon | 75 | 70 | |
| horizontal tango | booze | 115 | 0 | |
| hosed fishbowl | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| hosed tank | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| hot buttered roll | food | 100 | 0 | |
| hot katana blade | miscellaneous | 35 | 0 | |
| hot wing | food | 32 | 0 | |
| huge mirror shard | weapon | 0 | 30 | |
| hypnodisk | accessory | 0 | 0 | +10% Item Drops from Monsters |
| hypodermic needle | familiar equipment | 75 | 0 | +5 to Familiar Weight |
| ice-cold beer | booze, cocktail ingredient | 30 | 0 | |
| ice-cold beer | booze, cocktail ingredient | 30 | 0 | |
| ice-cold fotie | booze | 40 | 0 | |
| ice-cold six-pack | miscellaneous, use item | 150 | 0 | |
| icy katana hilt | miscellaneous | 64 | 0 | |
| icy-hot katana | weapon | 105 | 100 | |
| imitation nice watch | accessory | 0 | 0 | |
| Imp Ale | booze | 35 | 0 | |
| incredibly dense meat gem | accessory | 0 | 0 | +10% Meat from Monsters Moxie +5 Maximum MP +10 |
| infernal insoles | accessory | 65 | 60 | Combat Initiative +10% |
| insanely spicy bean burrito | food | 150 | 0 | |
| insanely spicy enchanted bean burrito | food | 152 | 0 | |
| intergalactic pom poms | accessory | 0 | 0 | Moxie +20 Combat Initiative +30% |
| intragalactic rowboat | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| iron pasta spoon | weapon | 115 | 110 | |
| Item #13 | accessory | 0 | 0 | |
| jabañero pepper | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 100 | 0 | |
| Jarlsberg's earring | accessory | 50 | 50 | Mysticality +10 |
| Jarlsberg's key | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 50 | 0 | |
| Jarlsberg's key lime | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 98 | 0 | |
| Jarlsberg's key lime pie | food | 123 | 0 | |
| jug-o-magicalness | miscellaneous, use item | 700 | 0 | |
| Jumbo Dr. Lucifer | drink | 33 | 0 | |
| jumbo olive | food, cocktail ingredient | 60 | 0 | |
| Kentucky-fried meat crossbow | weapon, crossbow | 160 | 50 | Moxie +7 |
| Kentucky-fried meat staff | weapon, staff | 160 | 50 | Mysticality +7 |
| Kentucky-fried meat sword | weapon, sword | 160 | 50 | Muscle +7 |
| Kentucky-style derby | hat | 25 | 20 | |
| ketchup | food, meatsmithing ingredient, cooking ingredient | 100 | 0 | |
| ketchup hound | miscellaneous, use item | 52 | 0 | |
| kickback cookbook | accessory | 2000 | 0 | Spell Level +10 |
| kneecapping stick | weapon | 95 | 90 | 3x chance of Critical Hit |
| Knob Goblin elite helm | hat | 65 | 60 | |
| Knob Goblin elite pants | pants | 65 | 60 | |
| Knob Goblin elite polearm | weapon | 65 | 60 | |
| Knob Goblin firecracker | miscellaneous, use item, combat use item | 15 | 0 | |
| Knob Goblin harem pants | pants | 27 | 10 | |
| Knob Goblin harem veil | hat | 28 | 10 | |
| Knob Goblin love potion | miscellaneous, use item | 85 | 0 | |
| Knob Goblin pants | pants | 30 | 25 | |
| Knob Goblin perfume | miscellaneous, use item | 27 | 0 | |
| Knob Goblin scimitar | weapon | 20 | 15 | |
| Knob Goblin seltzer | miscellaneous, use item, combat use item | 44 | 0 | |
| Knob Goblin sharpening spray | miscellaneous, use item | 115 | 0 | |
| Knob Goblin steroids | miscellaneous, use item | 125 | 0 | |
| Knob Goblin stink bomb | miscellaneous, combat use item | 65 | 0 | |
| Knob Goblin superseltzer | miscellaneous, use item, combat use item | 49 | 0 | |
| Knob Goblin tongs | weapon | 25 | 20 | |
| Knob Goblin Uberpants | pants | 50 | 45 | |
| Knob Goblin visor | hat | 80 | 50 | Moxie +7 |
| Knob Kitchen grab-bag | miscellaneous, use item | 90 | 0 | |
| Knob mushroom | food, cooking ingredient | 16 | 0 | |
| Knob sausage | food, cooking ingredient | 17 | 0 | |
| Knob sausage chow mein | food | 72 | 0 | |
| Knob sausage stir-fry | food, cooking ingredient | 70 | 0 | |
| Knob stir-fry | food, cooking ingredient | 51 | 0 | |
| Knoll mushroom | food, cooking ingredient | 15 | 0 | |
| Knoll stir-fry | food, cooking ingredient | 52 | 0 | |
| ladle of mystery | accessory | 1500 | 0 | HP/MP +20 |
| large box | miscellaneous, use item | 85 | 0 | |
| large cocoa eggshell fragment | food, cooking ingredient | 214 | 0 | |
| lead necklace | familiar equipment | 75 | 0 | +3 to Familiar Weight |
| leather chaps | pants | 105 | 100 | Intrinsic Effect |
| leather mask | hat | 65 | 60 | |
| lemon | food, cooking ingredient, cocktail ingredient | 35 | 0 | |
| leotarrrd | pants | 75 | 70 | |
| leprechaun hatchling | familiar | 6 | 0 | |
| lifeless meat doll | miscellaneous | 108 | 0 | |
| lihc eye | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 19 | 0 | |
| lihc eye pie | food | 45 | 0 | |
| lihc face | hat | 35 | 30 | Spooky Resistance |
| lime | food, cooking ingredient, cocktail ingredient | 60 | 0 | |
| line | miscellaneous | 50 | 0 | |
| linoleum crossbow | weapon, crossbow | 180 | 80 | HP/MP +10 |
| linoleum crossbow string | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient, crossbow | 95 | 0 | |
| linoleum helmet turtle | hat | 101 | 100 | HP/MP +10 |
| linoleum meat stack | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 100 | 0 | |
| linoleum ore | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 50 | 0 | |
| linoleum staff | weapon, staff | 180 | 80 | Maximum MP +20 |
| linoleum stick | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 95 | 0 | |
| linoleum sword | weapon, sword | 180 | 80 | Maximum HP +20 |
| linoleum sword hilt | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 95 | 0 | |
| little paper umbrella | weapon, cocktail ingredient | 35 | 30 | |
| locked Orcish meat locker | miscellaneous | 5 | 0 | |
| long skinny balloon | miscellaneous | 22 | 0 | |
| loose teeth | miscellaneous, use item | 17 | 0 | |
| Lord of the Flies-sized fries | food | 32 | 0 | |
| lowercase N | miscellaneous | 51 | 0 | |
| Lucky Surprise Egg | food | 420 | 0 | |
| Mad Train wine | booze | 29 | 0 | |
| mafia aria | miscellaneous, use item | 110 | 0 | |
| Mafia bow tie | accessory | 0 | 0 | Muscle +20 Moxie +20 |
| Mafia stogie | accessory | 0 | 0 | Muscle +20 Mysticality +20 |
| Mafia violin case | weapon | 0 | 50 | Muscle +20 melee damage +30 |
| magical ice cubes | miscellaneous, cocktail ingredient | 35 | 30 | |
| magical mystery juice | miscellaneous, use item, combat use item | 75 | 0 | |
| magicalness-in-a-can | miscellaneous, use item | 150 | 0 | |
| magnifying glass | familiar equipment | 75 | 0 | +5 to Familiar Weight |
| MAHI fez | hat | 0 | 200 | Moxie +30 |
| Maiali Sifilitici Pinot Noir | booze | 0 | 0 | |
| maid head | miscellaneous | 70 | 0 | |
| maiden wig | hat | 40 | 35 | |
| makeshift SCUBA gear | accessory | 0 | 0 | Stench Resistance |
| many-eyed glasses | familiar equipment | 75 | 0 | +5 to Familiar Weight |
| maraschino moxiosity potion | miscellaneous, use item | 38 | 0 | |
| margarita | booze, cocktail ingredient | 65 | 0 | |
| mariachi pants | pants | 1 | 10 | |
| martini | booze, cocktail ingredient | 65 | 0 | |
| meat cowboy hat | hat | 150 | 40 | Muscle +3 |
| meat detector | familiar equipment | 75 | 0 | +5 to Familiar Weight |
| meat engine | miscellaneous | 124 | 0 | |
| meat face | miscellaneous | 11 | 0 | |
| meat from yesterday | miscellaneous | 5 | 0 | |
| meat globe | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| meat golem | miscellaneous, use item | 200 | 0 | |
| Meat maid | miscellaneous, use item | 220 | 0 | |
| Meat maid body | miscellaneous | 155 | 0 | |
| meat paste | miscellaneous | 10 | 0 | |
| meat stack | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 100 | 0 | |
| meat vortex | miscellaneous, use item, combat use item | 57 | 0 | |
| meatcar model | familiar equipment | 75 | 0 | +5 to Familiar Weight |
| meatloaf helmet | hat | 175 | 55 | |
| meatsmithing guide | miscellaneous, use item | 25 | 0 | |
| meaty helmet turtle | hat, meatsmithing ingredient | 65 | 60 | |
| menorette | familiar equipment | 70 | 0 | +5 to Familiar Weight |
| menudo | food | 43 | 0 | |
| mesh cap | hat | 105 | 100 | Intrinsic Effect |
| metallic A | miscellaneous | 129 | 0 | |
| Mick's IcyVapoHotness Rub | miscellaneous, use item | 141 | 0 | |
| Mighty Bjorn action figure | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| milky potion | miscellaneous, use item | 60 | 0 | |
| mind flayer corpse | food | 78 | 0 | |
| miner's helmet | hat | 85 | 80 | |
| miner's pants | pants | 55 | 50 | |
| miniature espresso maker | familiar equipment | 75 | 0 | +5 to Familiar Weight |
| Mob Penguin cellular phone | miscellaneous, combat use item | 105 | 0 | |
| Mob Penguin protection contract | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| Mohawk wig | hat | 155 | 150 | |
| monkey wrench | booze, cocktail ingredient | 65 | 0 | |
| moonglasses | familiar equipment | 75 | 0 | Makes Familiar Less Sensitive to Light |
| mosquito larva | familiar | 7 | 0 | |
| Mountain Stream soda | miscellaneous, use item, combat use item | 58 | 0 | |
| moxie magnet | accessory | 1500 | 0 | |
| moxie weed | miscellaneous, use item | 150 | 0 | |
| Mr. Accessory | accessory | 0 | 0 | All Attributes +15 |
| Mr. Accessory Jr. | accessory | 0 | 0 | All Attributes +5 +10% Item Drops from Monsters |
| Mr. Container | container | 999 | 1000 | |
| Mr. Exploiter | accessory | 250000000 | 0 | |
| Mr. Mediocrebar | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| Mr. Shirt | shirt | 35 | 30 | Muscle +1 Mysticality +1 Moxie +1 |
| Ms. Accessory | accessory | 0 | 0 | All Attributes +15 |
| mullet wig | hat | 45 | 40 | |
| murky potion | miscellaneous, use item | 60 | 0 | |
| mushroom pizza | food | 86 | 0 | |
| Mystery Raffle Ticket #5 | miscellaneous | 50000 | 0 | |
| ND | miscellaneous | 187 | 0 | |
| necklace chain | miscellaneous | 35 | 0 | |
| Newbiesport™ backpack | container | 75 | 100 | |
| Newbiesport™ tent | miscellaneous, use item | 20 | 0 | |
| NG | miscellaneous, combat use item | 186 | 0 | |
| ninja hot pants | pants | 75 | 70 | |
| nothing-in-the-box | miscellaneous | 26 | 0 | |
| nothing-in-the-box-in-the-box | miscellaneous | 41 | 0 | |
| ocean motion | booze | 115 | 0 | |
| old school Mafia knickerbockers | pants | 0 | 0 | Muscle +25 Mysticality +25 Moxie +25 |
| old-fashioned | booze, cocktail ingredient | 90 | 0 | |
| olive | food, cooking ingredient, cocktail ingredient | 35 | 0 | |
| olive stir-fry | food, cooking ingredient | 71 | 0 | |
| one million meat pancakes | miscellaneous | 11 | 0 | |
| one-winged stab bat | miscellaneous | 140 | 0 | |
| orange | food, cooking ingredient, cocktail ingredient | 35 | 0 | |
| orangish aphrodisiac | miscellaneous, use item | 36 | 0 | |
| Orcish baseball cap | hat | 45 | 40 | |
| Orcish cargo shorts | pants | 45 | 40 | |
| original G | miscellaneous | 143 | 0 | |
| oriole-feather headdress | hat | 1 | 15 | |
| orphan baby yeti | familiar | 0 | 0 | |
| pagoda plans | miscellaneous | 51 | 0 | |
| pail | hat | 35 | 30 | |
| painful penne pasta | food | 33 | 0 | |
| palm-frond toupee | familiar equipment | 75 | 0 | +5 to Familiar Weight |
| pants kit | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 50 | 0 | |
| pants of the Slug Lord | pants | 35 | 30 | |
| papaya | food, cooking ingredient, cocktail ingredient | 32 | 0 | |
| papaya sling | booze | 57 | 0 | |
| papaya slung | booze | 57 | 0 | |
| papaya taco | food | 64 | 0 | |
| papotion of papower | miscellaneous, use item | 38 | 0 | |
| Pasta of Peril | weapon | 150 | 50 | Mysticality +7 |
| pasta spoon | weapon | 1 | 10 | |
| patchouli incense stick | miscellaneous, use item | 33 | 0 | |
| penguin shorts | pants | 140 | 80 | Combat Initiative +20% |
| penguin skin | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 97 | 0 | |
| penguin skin buckler | accessory | 142 | 0 | Damage Absorption +20% Moxie +5 |
| penguin whip | weapon | 144 | 20 | 3 +0 |
| penguin-smacking club | familiar equipment | 70 | 0 | +5 to Familiar Damage |
| Penultimate Fantasy chest | miscellaneous, use item | 108 | 0 | |
| perpendicular hula | booze | 115 | 0 | |
| phat turquoise bead | miscellaneous | 31 | 0 | |
| phat turquoise bracelet | accessory | 59 | 70 | Mysticality +5 |
| phonics down | miscellaneous, use item | 115 | 0 | |
| photoprotoneutron torpedo | miscellaneous, combat use item | 144 | 0 | |
| Pick-O-Matic lockpicks | miscellaneous | 15 | 0 | |
| pie crust | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 35 | 0 | |
| piece of wedding cake | food | 12 | 0 | |
| piercing post | miscellaneous | 32 | 0 | |
| pimpin' meat hat | hat | 170 | 50 | |
| Pine-Fresh air freshener | accessory | 18 | 0 | Stench Resistance |
| pink pony | booze | 115 | 0 | |
| pirate pelvis | miscellaneous | 44 | 0 | |
| pirate skull | miscellaneous, use item | 58 | 0 | |
| pixel hat | hat | 45 | 40 | |
| pixel pants | pants | 45 | 40 | |
| pixel sword | weapon | 65 | 60 | |
| pixellated candy heart | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| plain pizza | food, cooking ingredient | 68 | 0 | |
| Plastic Wrap Immateria | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| plot hole | miscellaneous, combat use item | 128 | 0 | |
| plus sign | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| potato sprout | familiar | 17 | 0 | |
| potion of chalky equality | miscellaneous, use item | 36 | 0 | |
| potion of temporary gr8tness | miscellaneous, use item | 36 | 0 | |
| poutine | food | 30 | 0 | |
| pr0n chow mein | food | 130 | 0 | |
| pr0n cocktail | food | 144 | 0 | |
| pr0n legs | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 52 | 0 | |
| pr0n m4nic0tti | food | 33 | 0 | |
| pr0n stir-fry | food, cooking ingredient | 126 | 0 | |
| pregnant mushroom | familiar | 19 | 0 | |
| present | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| pretentious paint | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| pretentious paintbrush | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| pretty bouquet | miscellaneous, use item | 2 | 0 | |
| pretty flower | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| probability potion | miscellaneous, use item | 128 | 0 | |
| procrastination potion | miscellaneous, use item | 138 | 0 | |
| prosthetic forehead | familiar equipment | 75 | 0 | +5 to Familiar Weight |
| purple pixel pie | food | 50 | 0 | |
| Quadruple-Minty Gum | miscellaneous, use item | 100 | 0 | |
| quantum egg | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| radio button candy | food | 0 | 0 | |
| Radio Free Baseball Cap | hat | 0 | 150 | Intrinsic Effect |
| Radio Free Foil | weapon, sword | 0 | 150 | Intrinsic Effect |
| Radio Free Pants | pants | 0 | 150 | Intrinsic Effect |
| rat appendix | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 16 | 0 | |
| rat appendix chow mein | food | 71 | 0 | |
| rat appendix stir-fry | food, cooking ingredient | 68 | 0 | |
| rat appendix-kabob | food | 51 | 0 | |
| rat whisker | miscellaneous | 15 | 0 | |
| ratgut | miscellaneous | 12 | 0 | |
| ravioli della hippy | food | 33 | 0 | |
| ravioli hat | hat | 1 | 10 | |
| razor-sharp can lid | miscellaneous, combat use item | 5 | 0 | |
| really really sticky spider web | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 9 | 0 | |
| really sticky spider web | miscellaneous | 5 | 0 | |
| red pixel | miscellaneous | 25 | 0 | |
| red pixel potion | miscellaneous, use item, combat use item | 50 | 0 | |
| rewinged stab bat | familiar | 148 | 0 | |
| Richard's star key | miscellaneous | 100 | 0 | |
| ridiculously huge sword | weapon | 210 | 150 | Melee Damage +10 |
| ring of aggravate monster | accessory | 70 | 65 | +5 to Monster Level |
| ring of half-assed regeneration | accessory | 30 | 50 | |
| Rock and Roll Legend | weapon | 150 | 50 | Moxie +7 |
| Rock Pops | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| rockin' wagon | booze | 115 | 0 | |
| roll in the hay | booze | 115 | 0 | |
| roll of drink tickets | miscellaneous, use item | 90 | 0 | |
| rolling pin | miscellaneous, use item | 250 | 0 | |
| royal jelly | food | 77 | 0 | |
| rubber axe | weapon | 45 | 40 | |
| ruby W | miscellaneous | 33 | 0 | |
| rum and cola | booze | 75 | 0 | |
| rusty L-shaped piece of metal | miscellaneous | 4 | 0 | |
| rusty screwdriver | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| S.O.C.K. | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| sabre teeth | weapon | 35 | 30 | |
| sabre-toothed lime cub | familiar | 91 | 0 | |
| safarrri hat | hat | 75 | 70 | |
| salty dog | booze, cocktail ingredient | 65 | 0 | |
| salty slug | booze | 65 | 0 | |
| sangria | booze, cocktail ingredient | 90 | 0 | |
| sangria del diablo | booze | 0 | 0 | |
| sauce of the ages | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 31 | 0 | |
| saucepan | weapon | 1 | 10 | |
| sausage pizza | food | 85 | 0 | |
| screwdriver | booze, cocktail ingredient | 65 | 0 | |
| scroll of drastic healing | miscellaneous, use item | 107 | 0 | |
| scroll of pasta summoning | miscellaneous, use item | 150 | 0 | |
| scroll of turtle summoning | miscellaneous, use item | 1 | 0 | |
| scrumptious reagent | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 1 | 0 | |
| seal tooth | miscellaneous, use item | 1 | 0 | |
| seal-clubbing club | weapon | 1 | 10 | |
| seal-toothed rock | miscellaneous | 2 | 0 | |
| secret blend of herbs and spices | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient, cooking ingredient | 33 | 0 | |
| Senior Mints | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| severed rocking horse head | accessory | 0 | 0 | All Attributes +3 |
| shiny ring | accessory | 75 | 50 | All Attributes +3 |
| shock collar | familiar equipment | 75 | 0 | Familiar Will Attack You Less Often |
| shot of grapefruit schnapps | booze | 120 | 0 | |
| shot of orange schnapps | booze | 120 | 0 | |
| shot of tomato schnapps | booze | 120 | 0 | |
| shroomkabob | food | 30 | 0 | |
| silk garter snake | familiar | 0 | 0 | |
| Single-Minty Gum | miscellaneous, use item | 25 | 0 | |
| sk8board | accessory | 105 | 70 | Combat Initiative +15% |
| skeleton bone | weapon | 17 | 30 | |
| skeleton key | miscellaneous | 31 | 0 | |
| skeleton key ring | miscellaneous, use item | 67 | 0 | |
| skewer | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 40 | 0 | |
| skewer-mounted razor blade | familiar equipment | 75 | 0 | +5 to Familiar Weight |
| skewered cat appendix | food | 81 | 0 | |
| skewered cherry | miscellaneous, cocktail ingredient | 0 | 0 | |
| skewered lime | miscellaneous, cocktail ingredient | 0 | 0 | |
| skewered olive | miscellaneous, cocktail ingredient | 0 | 0 | |
| skull of the Bonerdagon | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| slap and tickle | booze | 115 | 0 | |
| slingshot | weapon | 75 | 20 | |
| slip 'n' slide | booze | 115 | 0 | |
| small box | miscellaneous, use item | 65 | 0 | |
| small Crimbo Pressie | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| smart skull | miscellaneous, use item | 20 | 0 | |
| smile-sharpening stone | familiar equipment | 75 | 0 | +5 to Familiar Weight |
| smoky potion | miscellaneous, use item | 60 | 0 | |
| snakehead charrrm | miscellaneous | 54 | 0 | |
| Sneaky Pete's breath spray | accessory | 50 | 50 | Moxie +10 |
| Sneaky Pete's key | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 50 | 0 | |
| Sneaky Pete's key lime | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 98 | 0 | |
| Sneaky Pete's key lime pie | food | 123 | 0 | |
| snorkel | hat | 15 | 10 | |
| snowboarder pants | pants | 57 | 40 | |
| sober pill | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| soda water | miscellaneous, use item, cocktail ingredient | 35 | 0 | |
| soft green echo eyedrop antidote | miscellaneous | 118 | 0 | |
| sonar-in-a-biscuit | miscellaneous, use item, combat use item | 11 | 0 | |
| spaghetti with rock-balls | miscellaneous | 2 | 0 | |
| spaghetti with Skullheads | food | 61 | 0 | |
| Spam Witch sammich | food | 58 | 0 | |
| Spasmi Dolorosi Del Rene Champagne | booze | 0 | 0 | |
| special sauce glove | accessory | 2500 | 0 | *special, see item description |
| spectral pickle | food, cooking ingredient | 352 | 0 | |
| spiced rum | booze, cocktail ingredient | 35 | 0 | |
| spices | miscellaneous, use item, cooking ingredient, cocktail ingredient | 1 | 0 | |
| spicy bean burrito | food, cooking ingredient | 55 | 0 | |
| spicy enchanted bean burrito | food, cooking ingredient | 55 | 0 | |
| spicy noodles | food | 300 | 0 | |
| spider web | miscellaneous, combat use item | 3 | 0 | |
| spiked femur | weapon | 95 | 90 | +3 Spooky Damage |
| spooky hockey mask | hat | 0 | 100 | Spooky Resistance +3 Spooky Damage |
| spooky mushroom | food, cooking ingredient | 16 | 0 | |
| spooky pirate skeleton | familiar | 130 | 0 | |
| spooky sapling | miscellaneous, use item | 6 | 0 | |
| spooky scarecrow | miscellaneous, use item | 55 | 0 | |
| spooky shrunken head | miscellaneous | 6 | 0 | |
| spooky staff | weapon, staff | 50 | 30 | Mysticality +3 |
| spooky stick | weapon | 35 | 30 | |
| spooky stir-fry | food, cooking ingredient | 50 | 0 | |
| Spooky Temple map | miscellaneous, use item | 7 | 0 | |
| Spooky-Gro fertilizer | miscellaneous, use item | 6 | 0 | |
| spork | weapon, meatsmithing ingredient | 35 | 30 | |
| spray paint | miscellaneous, use item | 25 | 0 | |
| spring | miscellaneous | 9 | 0 | |
| sprocket | miscellaneous | 10 | 0 | |
| sprocket assembly | miscellaneous | 17 | 0 | |
| stalk of asparagus | food, cooking ingredient | 31 | 0 | |
| star | miscellaneous | 50 | 0 | |
| star buckler | accessory | 100 | 200 | Damage Absorption +30% |
| star chart | miscellaneous | 100 | 0 | |
| star crossbow | weapon, crossbow | 225 | 150 | Moxie +8 |
| star hat | hat | 225 | 150 | Maximum MP +10 |
| star pants | pants | 225 | 150 | Combat Initiative +20% |
| star staff | weapon, staff | 225 | 150 | Mysticality +8 |
| star starfish | familiar | 100 | 0 | |
| star sword | weapon, sword | 225 | 150 | Muscle +8 |
| star throwing star | miscellaneous, combat use item | 100 | 0 | |
| stat script | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| steaming evil | weapon | 0 | 180 | +3 Fire Damage +3 Stench Damage +3 Spooky Damage |
| sticky meat pants | pants | 145 | 45 | Moxie +3 |
| stolen accordion | weapon | 1 | 10 | |
| stone banjo | weapon | 101 | 25 | |
| stone of eXtreme power | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 30 | 0 | |
| stone tablet (Really Evil Rhythm) | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| stone tablet (Sinister Strumming) | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| stone tablet (Squeezings of Woe) | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| strange leaflet | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| strawberry | food, cooking ingredient, cocktail ingredient | 35 | 0 | |
| strawberry daiquiri | booze, cocktail ingredient | 65 | 0 | |
| strawberry wine | booze, cocktail ingredient | 65 | 0 | |
| strongness elixir | miscellaneous, use item | 150 | 0 | |
| studded leather boxer shorts | pants | 25 | 20 | |
| stuffed shoulder parrot | accessory | 45 | 70 | |
| stuffed spooky mushroom | food | 35 | 0 | |
| sucky decal | familiar equipment | 75 | 0 | +5 to Familiar Weight |
| sunken chest | miscellaneous, use item | 48 | 0 | |
| suntan lotion of moxiousness | miscellaneous, use item | 700 | 0 | |
| super-spikey hair gel | miscellaneous, use item | 112 | 0 | |
| support cummerbund | accessory | 105 | 100 | |
| swashbuckling pants | pants | 65 | 60 | |
| sweet ninja sword | weapon, sword | 25 | 20 | |
| sweet rims | miscellaneous | 100 | 0 | |
| swirly potion | miscellaneous, use item | 60 | 0 | |
| sword hilt | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 50 | 0 | |
| T-bone key | miscellaneous, use item | 8 | 0 | |
| t8r tots | food | 58 | 0 | |
| taco shell | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 40 | 0 | |
| Talisman o' Nam | accessory | 102 | 80 | All Attributes +1 |
| Talisman of Baio | accessory | 0 | 0 | All Attributes Increase with Moonlight |
| tambourine | miscellaneous, use item, combat use item | 65 | 0 | |
| tambourine bells | miscellaneous | 50 | 0 | |
| tassel | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 25 | 0 | |
| Tasty Fun Good rice candy | miscellaneous, use item | 54 | 0 | |
| ten-leaf clover | miscellaneous, use item, cooking ingredient | 0 | 0 | |
| tenderizing hammer | craft | 500 | 0 | |
| tequila sunrise | booze, cocktail ingredient | 65 | 0 | |
| tequila with training wheels | booze, cocktail ingredient | 90 | 0 | |
| The Colander of Em-er'il | hat | 0 | 50 | Mysticality +7 |
| the Dolphin King's crown | hat | 35 | 30 | |
| the Dolphin King's map | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| The Scalp of Gorgolok | hat | 0 | 50 | Muscle +7 |
| the Slug Lord's map | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| thin black candle | miscellaneous, use item | 144 | 0 | |
| Time Juice | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| Tin Foil Immateria | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| tiny balloon knife | familiar equipment | 75 | 0 | +5 to Familiar Weight |
| tiny house | miscellaneous, use item | 107 | 0 | |
| tiny knife and fork | familiar equipment | 75 | 0 | +5 to Familiar Weight |
| tiny plastic accordion thief | accessory | 30 | 0 | Moxie +2 Mysticality +1 |
| tiny plastic angry goat | accessory | 30 | 0 | +1 to Familiar Weight |
| tiny plastic baby gravy fairy | accessory | 30 | 0 | +1 to Familiar Weight |
| tiny plastic barrrnacle | accessory | 30 | 0 | +1 to Familiar Weight |
| tiny plastic bitchin' meat car | accessory | 30 | 0 | adv +1 |
| tiny plastic blood-faced volleyball | accessory | 30 | 0 | +1 to Familiar Weight |
| tiny plastic Boris | accessory | 30 | 0 | Muscle +5 Mysticality +3 Moxie +3 |
| tiny plastic Cheshire bat | accessory | 30 | 0 | +1 to Familiar Weight |
| tiny plastic cocoabo | accessory | 30 | 0 | +1 to Familiar Weight |
| tiny plastic coffee pixie | accessory | 30 | 0 | +1 to Familiar Weight |
| tiny plastic disco bandit | accessory | 30 | 0 | Moxie +2 Muscle +1 |
| tiny plastic fuzzy dice | accessory | 30 | 0 | +1 to Familiar Weight |
| tiny plastic ghost pickle on a stick | accessory | 30 | 0 | +1 to Familiar Weight |
| tiny plastic ghuol whelp | accessory | 30 | 0 | +1 to Familiar Weight |
| tiny plastic grue | accessory | 30 | 0 | +1 to Familiar Weight |
| tiny plastic hermit | accessory | 30 | 0 | +3% Meat from Monsters |
| tiny plastic howling balloon monkey | accessory | 30 | 0 | +1 to Familiar Weight |
| tiny plastic Jarlsberg | accessory | 30 | 0 | Mysticality +5 Muscle +3 Moxie +3 |
| tiny plastic killer bee | accessory | 30 | 0 | +1 to Familiar Weight |
| tiny plastic leprechaun | accessory | 30 | 0 | +1 to Familiar Weight |
| tiny plastic levitating potato | accessory | 30 | 0 | +1 to Familiar Weight |
| tiny plastic mosquito | accessory | 30 | 0 | +1 to Familiar Weight |
| tiny plastic pastamancer | accessory | 30 | 0 | Mysticality +2 Muscle +1 |
| tiny plastic sabre-toothed lime | accessory | 30 | 0 | +1 to Familiar Weight |
| tiny plastic sauceror | accessory | 30 | 0 | Mysticality +2 Moxie +1 |
| tiny plastic seal clubber | accessory | 30 | 0 | Muscle +2 Moxie +1 |
| tiny plastic Sneaky Pete | accessory | 30 | 0 | Moxie +5 Muscle +3 Mysticality +3 |
| tiny plastic spooky pirate skeleton | accessory | 30 | 0 | +1 to Familiar Weight |
| tiny plastic stab bat | accessory | 30 | 0 | +1 to Familiar Weight |
| tiny plastic star starfish | accessory | 30 | 0 | +1 to Familiar Weight |
| tiny plastic Susie | accessory | 30 | 0 | All Attributes +5 |
| tiny plastic sword | weapon, cocktail ingredient | 0 | 10 | |
| tiny plastic turtle tamer | accessory | 30 | 0 | Muscle +2 Mysticality +1 |
| tiny shaker of salt | familiar equipment | 75 | 0 | +5 to Familiar Weight |
| tires | miscellaneous | 14 | 0 | |
| Tissue Paper Immateria | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| titanium assault umbrella | weapon | 155 | 150 | |
| toast | food | 14 | 0 | |
| tofu casserole | food | 107 | 0 | |
| tofu chow mein | food | 109 | 0 | |
| tofu stir-fry | food, cooking ingredient | 105 | 0 | |
| tomato | food, cooking ingredient, cocktail ingredient | 35 | 0 | |
| tomato daiquiri | booze | 72 | 0 | |
| tomato smoothie | miscellaneous, use item | 36 | 0 | |
| tortoise's blessing | miscellaneous | 1 | 0 | |
| Triple-Minty Gum | miscellaneous, use item | 75 | 0 | |
| Trollhouse cookies | food | 58 | 0 | |
| turtle factory | miscellaneous | 3 | 0 | |
| Turtleslinger | weapon | 150 | 50 | Muscle +7 |
| Uncle Jick's Brownie Mix | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 33 | 0 | |
| uncooked chorizo | food, cooking ingredient | 18 | 0 | |
| unrolling pin | miscellaneous, use item | 250 | 0 | |
| Uovo Marcio Shiraz | booze | 0 | 0 | |
| Valentine | miscellaneous | 250 | 0 | |
| valuable trinket | miscellaneous | 150 | 0 | |
| velvet choker | familiar equipment | 70 | 0 | +5 to Familiar Weight |
| vesper | booze | 0 | 0 | |
| vial of patchouli oil | miscellaneous, combat use item | 38 | 0 | |
| viking helmet | hat | 25 | 20 | |
| vinegar | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 77 | 0 | |
| vodka and cranberry | booze | 60 | 0 | |
| vodka martini | booze, cocktail ingredient | 65 | 0 | |
| volleyball | miscellaneous, use item | 100 | 0 | |
| voodoo doll | accessory | 25 | 0 | mys +1 |
| vorpal blade | weapon, sword | 80 | 75 | 2x chance of Critical Hit |
| WA | miscellaneous | 152 | 0 | |
| wad of dough | miscellaneous, use item, cooking ingredient | 25 | 0 | |
| wad of tofu | miscellaneous, cooking ingredient | 35 | 0 | |
| walrus-tusk earring | accessory | 30 | 50 | Maximum HP +3 |
| Wand of Nagamar | miscellaneous | 322 | 0 | |
| wang | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| Warehouse 23 bling | accessory | 0 | 0 | Maximum MP +23 |
| Warm Subject gift certificate | miscellaneous, use item | 141 | 0 | |
| whip kit | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 50 | 0 | |
| whiskey and cola | booze | 74 | 0 | |
| whiskey and soda | booze, cocktail ingredient | 65 | 0 | |
| whiskey sour | booze, cocktail ingredient | 65 | 0 | |
| white Canadian | booze | 53 | 0 | |
| White Castle burger | food | 12 | 0 | |
| White Castle fries | food | 11 | 0 | |
| white chocolate and tomato pizza | food | 62 | 0 | |
| white chocolate chip cookies | food | 44 | 0 | |
| white chocolate chips | food, cooking ingredient | 24 | 0 | |
| white lightning | booze | 15 | 0 | |
| white picket fence | miscellaneous, use item | 15 | 0 | |
| white pixel | miscellaneous | 25 | 0 | |
| white satin pants | pants | 45 | 40 | |
| white sword | weapon, sword | 45 | 40 | |
| whitesnake skin | miscellaneous | 25 | 0 | |
| windchimes | miscellaneous, use item | 32 | 0 | |
| wine spritzer | booze, cocktail ingredient | 65 | 0 | |
| Wint-O-Fresh mint | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| wolf mask | hat | 128 | 100 | Intrinsic Effect |
| wooden figurine | miscellaneous | 100 | 0 | |
| wooden stakes | weapon | 6 | 25 | |
| worthless gewgaw | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| worthless knick-knack | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| worthless trinket | miscellaneous | 0 | 0 | |
| wrapping paper | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 0 | 0 | |
| wrath serum | miscellaneous, use item | 36 | 0 | |
| wussiness potion | miscellaneous, use item, combat use item | 28 | 0 | |
| Xlyinia's notebook | accessory | 0 | 0 | All Attributes +15 |
| yak skin | miscellaneous, meatsmithing ingredient | 95 | 0 | |
| yak skin buckler | accessory | 142 | 0 | Damage Absorption +20% Mysticality +5 |
| yak whip | weapon, whip | 141 | 20 | Successful hit weakens opponent |
| yakskin pants | pants | 142 | 140 | Maximum MP +25 |
| ye olde golde frontes | accessory | 750 | 0 | Muscle +15 |
| yeti fur | miscellaneous | 92 | 0 | |
| Yeti Protest Sign | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |
| Yummy Tummy bean | miscellaneous, use item | 0 | 0 | |